Page 34 of Daddy Issues

Fuck it.

Pulling out the box, I rip it open, grabbing a test and shoving the box back into the bottom of my bag. I do a quick read-through of the fairly straightforward instructions, wiggle out of my leggings, and pee on the test pad of the stick. I cap the test, laying it flat on the counter while I continue to relieve myself of all the fluid I chugged to prepare for this very moment.

After washing my hands, I sit on the floor and wait. I’m oddly calm compared to this morning when I realized this could even be a possibility. Whatever the test says, I’ll deal with it. All morning I’ve been thinking about how being pregnant could impact everyone, but I haven’t thought about how I’ll feel if it says I’m not. The idea of being pregnant with a baby that I created with Graham fills me with an abundance of joy. Will I be disappointed if I’m not? Even if that disappointment would be wildly misplaced.

Checking my phone, I take a steadying breath before standing, bracing my hands against the cool countertop and looking down.

Two very bright lines are looking back at me.

I’m pregnant.

I stuff the test under a bunch of trash in the wastebasket and, body on autopilot, leave the bathroom to greet my mother with a fake smile and help her wrap my father’s gifts. Her voice is muffled, as if I’m underwater looking up at her, so I just nod and focus on the task at hand. After I feel like enough time has passed, I tell her that I have to get an errand in before picking up Mila from school, and with a fake frown, she lets me go.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur, and I let Mila know that I’ve been battling a migraine. When a text comes through from Graham that he’ll be home late, for the first time since I’ve known this man, I feel relief.

Nighttime comes, and after getting ready for bed, I make a decision—I slip the pink scrunchie onto my wrist, and with my PJs on, crawl under the blankets. So lost and unsure of everything the future holds.

CHAPTER11

graham

I lock up the house,ready to get to Hailey. I don’t bother going to my room first to change, just head straight for the bedroom, not able to get to her fast enough. Weeks have passed, and nearly every night is the same. Me sneaking into her room like a teenager climbing in through a window after her parents have gone to sleep.

It’s become harder and harder to pretend I haven’t fallen fast and hard for this incredible woman. I didn’t mean for things to turn more serious, but I can’t fight it. She’s everything I want, and I can’t imagine replacing her with anyone else or going back to being an eternal single-dad bachelor.

It’s all the other shit that makes it complicated. Hailey and I together? As easy as breathing. She’s mine, and no one else will do. I don’t know when it happened, but I’ve fallen in love with her, I just need some time to figure out how to handle her parents. Jay and I go way back, he’s almost like a big brother to me, and I’d hate to hurt him.

Mila, on the other hand, will be the happiest girl in the world once she finds out. She loves Hailey and seems to have no problem sharing me with her. Or her with me, if I’m honest. The two of them have the kind of relationship I could only dream of my daughter having with a motherly figure. I know Hailey always has Mila’s best interest at the forefront of her mind, and I love that she’s so aware of everything she does and the implications and impacts of her actions. I could only be so lucky to share my life with this woman.

Sneaking into her room, just as I have every other night for over a month, I flick the lock behind me. Hailey’s blonde hair shines in the moonlight, her body hidden under the blanket. Slowly, I peel it back, ready to slip in next to my girl, to bring us both pleasure and fall asleep with my cock inside her. Who knew I’d have such a cockwarming kink? Something about the closeness of it, how intimate and sexy it is, does it for me. Especially after I’ve spilled my load inside her, knowing it’s not leaking out.

Her hands are clasped under her head, and the first thing I notice is the bright pink scrunchie that adorns her delicate wrist, then I notice the tank top. She’s never slept with clothes on, and this is the first time she’s said she’s off-limits.

Concern washes over me. Wondering if she’s feeling sick and if she would want me to hold her while she sleeps, or if this means she wants complete privacy. If she’s sick, I want to take care of her. I think back to our conversation during our first night together at the hotel. We both understood that the scrunchie would act as our safeword, and I’m happy to respect that.

I would never breach her privacy, but my feelings have changed from just sleeping together to loving her, and I’d like to still sleep next to her, even if sex is off the table.

I replace the blanket over her shoulders, making sure I don’t stir her awake, and retreat to my own bedroom for the first time in weeks, knowing that I’ll check in with her tomorrow and that I want to suggest an amendment to our original agreement.

Sleep eludes me as I toss and turn, my mind relentlessly focused on Hailey alone downstairs. Could she have started her period? Be coming down with the flu? Or hell, maybe she just wanted space. Fuck. Unwarranted insecurities creep in. If she’s pulling away from me, I don’t know how I’ll survive it.

I’ve made peace with the fact that Hailey will get hired at one of the elementary schools, even if she has a slight commute. But I can’t imagine her going home at the end of the day to anywhere but our home. This is Hailey’s home now. She can’t pull away from me before this even begins. I would do anything for this woman, and I need to show her that. She’s the most selfless, loving person I’ve ever met, and not being the man she thinks I am would be the failure of a lifetime.

I need to step up and show Hailey what she means to me, tell her that I love her, and face her father. My friend. The thought makes me feel physically sick. Jay and I have been friends for such a long time, and I know he’ll view this as a deep betrayal.

But, hopefully, after the initial shock passes, he’ll remember that I’m a damn good man and I would never hurt his daughter. You can’t help who you love, and maybe if everyone stopped giving a shit about who everyone else loves, we’d all be a helluva lot happier.

Sleep eludes me, and before I’m ready for it, my alarm goes off for the day to start. The cold water rouses me, and I shower quickly, grasping onto anything that will give me the spark of energy I’m going to need to get through the day. At least it’s Saturday, but I promised my girls I would take them to Grace Beach. Mila has been wanting to search for sea glass after finding some last summer.

My girls.

Damn, I love the sound of that.

Throwing on a pair of gym shorts, I check in on Mila to find her still sound asleep. She’ll sleep until noon if I let her, but before waking her, I need to see Hailey. Quietly walking down the stairs, I move toward Hailey’s bedroom, knocking gently on the door before opening it and slipping inside.

Hailey is still in bed, which is unlike her, and worry overcomes me. Maybe she is getting sick. Moving to the side of the bed, I look down at her. She’s so peaceful, and my hands itch to touch her soft skin. Damn, I love this precious, sweet woman so much it hurts. Not wanting to fight it, I reach out, using the pads of my fingers to gently push the short blonde locks off of her face.

Squatting down to my haunches, I meet her bleary eyes as she starts to wake, her long eyelashes beating heavily as she sees me. Plush pink lips turn up at the corners, a genuine smile lifting on her sleepy face, making me feel so damn good. She’s genuinely happy to see me.

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