Page 26 of Daddy Issues

“Hails, I don’t know what I need. I thought we had a few years before this. Thank God I got her thatWhat to Expect: Puberty Editionbook, but why the fuck didn’tIread it?”

Hailey’s sweet laugh rings out.

“This isn’t funny. I’m losing it. What do I do? What does she need?”

“Well, Mr. Colson, I have never seen you flustered before. You go pick up Mila and meet me at the house. I’ll run down to the store and get a few things for her. Don’t make it weird for her!”

“Don’t make it weird. How the fuck do I do that?”

She laughs again and it melts some of the tension I’m feeling.

“Just be you. It’s just some blood, and her body is changing. I’ve seen the signs lately and wondered. I should have mentioned it to you.”

“Ya think?” I say with a light chuckle.

“Everything is fine. Go get our girl and meet me at the house. I’ll beat you there.”

Our girl.Man, do I like the sound of that.

After returning home with Mila, Hailey had everything that Mila could possibly need, jumping in and making her feel comfortable. We ate spaghetti with meat sauce, salad, garlic bread, and brownie ice cream sundaes for dessert. Mila was uncomfortable but was otherwise my same little girl she was when she woke up this morning. That doesn’t mean my heart and mind are at peace.

Before starting our episode ofGilmore Girls, Mila headed to her room to talk to one of her friends, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I lean against the wall, letting my head fall back, taking a deep breath. Hailey’s scent hits me before I see her. So soft and sweet. Her hand reaches out and runs down the length of my arm while she looks up at me with concern.

“Graham, it’s fine, I promise she’s okay. This is normal.”

“Isn’t she too young? She’s just a little girl. She’s ten, Hails! Could something be wrong?”

“She’s young but not too young. It’s usually based on when the mother started, which I suppose you don’t know, right?”

I give her a face that says,really? But I’m still not at ease, even if I had access to that information. “When did my little girl grow up?”

“I’m sure it feels like overnight, but she’s perfectly healthy and this is absolutely normal. We can call the pediatrician tomorrow if it will make you feel better.”

“Does she need to be seen by her doctor?” I say, suddenly panicking.

“Graham, calm down, breathe. She’s okay.”

I work on steadying my breathing.

“What do we do now?”

“Well, I was the last to get mine out of my sisters, and Hannah made it a big thing. We went out for dinner, got ice cream, and then watched a movie. She celebrated me becoming a woman. The alien inhabiting Harlow’s body even evacuated for the night and the three of us had a great time together.”

“Shit. A woman,” I repeat, running my hands through my hair.

“Hey, come here . . .” Hailey whispers as she grabs my wrist and pulls me down the hallway and into her bedroom where she shuts the door behind us. Her hands move to my face, framing it as those beautiful whiskey-amber eyes look up at me.

“She is fine. What she needs is her dad to not make things weird. At the end of the day, she has you, Graham, that’s it. I’m here for her always, but you’re her dad and she needs you.”

“It’s not that I think it’s weird, Hails, I’m not worried about blood or needing to normalize it, it’s just that I thought we had so much time before this step. It’s such a huge milestone for her. I’m not ready for my little girl to grow up.” I swat at the rogue tear that escapes my eye, unsure where the influx of emotion came from so suddenly. “I’m thankful for you. Thank you for being here to help take care of my girl.”

And I mean it. For the first time in a decade, I have someone to share these events with, to talk through them with. I have someone who has my back and can ground me when I spiral. I didn’t realize until now that even though I’ve enjoyed every moment of being Mila’s dad, I’ve been in survival mode this entire time. And right now? I don’t have to be. I have someone to share the hardships of parenting with.

“Always and anytime. I feel so honored to be here for both of you. You two are incredible, Graham. I love the family you’ve created just the two of you and feel so grateful I get to be a small part of it for a bit.”

Her words shouldn’t hurt, but they do, a sharp pain right in the center of my heart. A small part? For a bit? The thought of this arrangement ending someday makes my heart want to claw out of my chest to get to hers, to bury myself so deep that I’m a permanent part of her.

Fuck. Shit is getting complicated.

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