But I don’t.
Instead, I step out of my heels.Not seductively.Not slowly.Just enough to level the playing field.
“This isn’t going to change anything.One way or the other,” he says.
“I didn’t think it was.”
He watches me a second too long.“You don’t look surprised.”
“I’ve had a weird couple of weeks.”
He almost smiles.Almost.“You could say no.”
I could.I could say it a hundred different ways.I could grab my bag, thank him for dinner, and walk right back to my very reasonable hotel room with its neutral carpet and unthreatening soap.I could sleep, wake up, and pretend this never almost happened.
Instead, I say, “What makes you think I want to?”
He steps closer.Doesn’t touch me.Just invades the air I’m breathing like he owns the oxygen.“I don’t.”
His voice is casual.Matter-of-fact.Like he’s confirming tomorrow’s forecast.Sunny with a zero percent chance of regret.
I cross the room slowly, like it’s going to bite.
Now I’m standing in front of the bed like I’m trying to convince myself this isn’t a terrible idea.He tosses his room key on the console like it’s a receipt for something I’ve already bought.I guess it is.
And maybe that’s what does it.I speak before he can.
“You don’t have to say anything.I’m not confused about what this is.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“I just need to get over someone,” I say, unclasping my watch.“That’s all.You’re a controlled environment.”
His bottom lip juts out.“That’s the first time anyone’s called me that.”
I shrug.“You seemed like the safest bad idea I could find.”
“That might be the most honest thing anyone’s said to me all week.”
“Really?You seem like the kind of man who doesn’t call the next day.Or think about it after.”
He doesn’t confirm or deny.Just watches.
“I married my college boyfriend,” I add.“We were together for almost ten years.He knew everything—what I liked, what I didn’t.He didn’t have to ask.”
Ellis doesn’t react, not visibly.
“So this?”I gesture between us.“It’s a reset button.Not romance.Not revenge.Just…practice.”
He cocks his head, like he’s curious now.Not turned on—interested.
“You want to see if you can do this,” he says.“Without feeling anything.”
“Exactly.”
“And if you can’t?”
I hold his gaze, steady.“Then I’ll know.”