“No,” I admitted.“Victor and Zach always looked out for me.”
Hawk stirred beside me.“More than your other brothers?”
I shrugged.“Victor was the most obvious.As the oldest he made it his responsibility to look after us all.Kind of like Father was the general, but Vic was the one leading the troops into battle.The others helped me, too, but they were more subtle.Things would just break in my favor and one of my brothers would always be there.Most of the time they still looked disapprovingly at me, but they still helped me in whatever way they could.Zach is seven years older than me, so we were kind of kids together.What little childhood we had.The others were teenagers when I was born.”I stiffened, sitting up straighter and snatching my hand from Hawk’s grip.That got me nowhere as he just reached over and snagged my hand again.
“Woman.”His tone brooked no argument, so I didn’t continue to try to get free of him.“Settle.We’re not gonna use anything against you.You’re not in danger from us.”He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand under the table.The gesture seemed out of place for the big man, but if he was trying to calm me, that touch was working.The tenderness of it made my heart ache when I knew there was nothing to read into the innocent touch.I had to blink back tears because how sad was it I practically melted under Hawk’s simple caress?
I nodded and whispered, “OK.”He squeezed my hand again but didn’t let go like I thought he would.“I’m sorry.”Panic was beginning to overwhelm me and before I realized what I was doing, I shifted my hand and Hawk’s so I could grip his big hand in both of mine.I cringed to think about how sweaty my palms were.Another visceral reaction to my environment my dad would be disgusted about.“What I just told you about my family is more than I’ve ever told anyone.We don’t…share.”
“How about we start simple.”Knight smiled at me.With the tats on his face and the bright red of his eyes, he looked more than a little deranged.“What’s your last name.”
“Yeah,” I muttered.“You’d think that would be simple, huh.”
“It’s not?”Hawk raised an eyebrow at me.
“No.”
When I didn’t elaborate, Knuckles spoke again.“Why not?”The demand in his question was clear.
“Because, I don’t have a last name.”
Chapter Five
Hawk
I couldn’t help it.I barked out a laugh.Which wasn’t the smartest move because everyone except Knuckles and Knight looked at me like I’d lost my mind.Carrie flinched.She tried to let go of my hand, but I held onto the one I had laced my fingers through.
“Not helping, Hawk,” Gunnar muttered.
“You don’t believe me.”Carrie still tried to twist her hand out of my grip, but I held on tight.No way I was losing this silent war we waged under the table.If I was going to convince her to be mine, I had to make her understand I was on her side.Even over the club.That thought was so much of a surprise I nearly allowed her to slip out of my grip.Her hands were clammy, so she was hard to hang on to, but I managed.
“Sorry.”I adjusted my hold on Carrie’s hand, trying to reassure her.“Just not what I was expecting you to say, Killer.”The second I uttered her nickname, I knew I’d shown my hand to the brothers.They’d know Carrie was mine without me saying a fucking word.I’d have to eventually make a loud and proud statement to the fact -- like getting her a property cut -- but for now, the silent meaning would work.
“Everyone has a last name,” Knight said, his voice neutral but his expression skeptical.“Birth certificate, social security card, driver’s license…”
“I don’t have any of those things,” Carrie replied quietly.“At least, not with a real last name on them.”
The room fell silent.I could practically hear the gears turning in everyone’s heads.Carrie’s shoulders hunched slightly, as if she was bracing for an attack.
“Explain,” Knuckles said, his voice surprisingly gentle.
Carrie took a deep breath.“My father is… well, he’s paranoid about leaving paper trails.I was born at home.No hospital records or anything.I don’t know if it was the same with my brothers, but I’m pretty sure it was.He taught us to be ghosts.To hide in plain sight.I shouldn’t have been near the warehouses because there’s always so many security cameras, but it was raining and cool and I didn’t want to sleep in the woods again.”
“Any idea why he had you living like that?”
“Only that he said last names and medical records and such are for people who need to belong to a system.He wanted us to be self-sufficient.”She looked down at our joined hands and took a deep, trembling breath.“Saying it out loud sounds so fucked up.”
“Why teach you to fight like you do?”
I shrugged.“He said it was for when society crumbled.That we’d need to know how to defend ourselves and our territory, but there was more to it than that.”
“How much more?”Knuckles had his full attention on Carrie, and I wanted to slide her behind me for some reason.Knuckles wouldn’t hurt her.He detested harming women for any reason.
“I know he’s sent my brothers to kill people for him.”She imparted the information so quietly I barely heard her.
“You’re gonna have to speak up, darlin’.”Gunnar kept his voice gentle but insistent.“We only want to know what we’re facin’ if they come our way.”
“I know --” she broke off and a small sob escaped her.“God, I’m so stupid,” she muttered as she wiped angrily at a tear tracking down her cheek with her shoulder.It made my chest puff up a little that she hadn’t tried to let go of my hand.In fact, she held on tighter.