Page 50 of The Merriest Christmas

"Well, I was."

"So, when do you want to tell them?"

I stared into his eyes."Okay, let's pretend there is an us—"

"There is," Seaver said.

"—and so we go out there and say that.Did you forget what just happened?They'll be even harder on you, question yourelentlessly, want all the details—including the fact that we had a secret relationship.Do you want to go through that?"

"Hell yeah, if it means I get you in the end."

There was no hesitation.

He didn't stop to think about it, didn't have to.Seaver's stance was clear.I, however, wasn't as certain.

"Must be nice," I said quietly.

"What?"

"To be so sure."

Seaver pulled back an inch."Are you saying you're not?"

It was hard to explain my feelings, even to myself, but I gave it a go.

"When I woke up this morning, you were gone," I said.

"I had to leave early so I could get Dex and the guys," he said.

"I know, and I appreciate that more than I can say."

"But?"

"But I was alone in the living room, after we'd had this amazing night, and for a second…I thought you weren't coming back," I said.

Seaver looked pained, but he'd asked for the truth.

"It wasn't a good feeling."

"I know."

"I don't think you do," I said, "and that's okay.You seem all calm and collected, but my emotions are all over the place.Can you understand that?"

He nodded.

"If we spoke to my brothers now, I don't know what I'd say."

I gave him a small smile.

"Seeing you again, even being this close to you, is like flying and falling.I can't decide if what happened last night was a mistake or a Christmas miracle."

Seaver laughed quietly."I get it."

"Do you?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Plus, my brothers would probably kick your ass.Dex definitely would.There's no point in telling them if this is just a blip."

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