Page 77 of Adorkable

The sound that escaped my lips was too strangled to be a laugh. I only hoped Becks didn’t notice.

“I’ve got to go,” he said, turning, “but I’ll see you at practice after school, okay?”

“Sure.”

As soon as he was gone, I slumped, the smile slipping from my face. At least he’d believed me, I thought. And now there was nothing holding him back anymore. Becks could get any girl he wanted. I wished I could’ve been happier for him, but with my own feelings so mixed up, there was just no way. The guilt was gone—that was a plus—but in its place there were all these new emotions.

Like whenever I saw him with another girl.

“Hey, Becks.” A cheek rub. “Looking good.”

“Wanna go out tonight, Becks?”

“God Becks, your arms are sotight. Come over to my house later?”

The flirting was old news, but the way it made me feel was what’d changed. Anger came first, hot and heavy, followed by jealousy and then the quick sting of self-loathing as I realized I had no right to either of those feelings

When Mercedes kissed his cheek, I finally blew.

“You’re just going let her do that?” I said, voice angry, though it’d been her fault, not his.

“What?” Becks said. “The girl pounced. What was I supposed to do, hit her?”

I shook my head in disgust. “Don’t you have any self-respect?”

“Calm down, Sal. It was just—”

“Save it.” I hadn’t talked to him for the rest of the day.

After that, I learned to turn off my emotions. I didn’t want to bethat girl. It was better to be a shell, empty. Go to school. Come home. Repeat. Over the next couple of days, I was pretty much unaware of anything.

When Mom let Hooker into the house, I didn’t even look up from my book. Gilbert was about to ask Anne to marry him, and like an idiot, she was going to stomp all over his heart. Turning the page, I sighed. Nice people always got trampled by the ones they loved.

“Spitz,whatare you wearing?”

“Oh, hey,” I said, startled. Carefully, I slid my bookmark into place. “How’s it going, Hooker?”

“So you can still form complete sentences. I was starting to get worried.” She took a seat on the couch, and tugged on my fleece. “You didn’t seriously pay money for this.”

“What?” I looked down at myself. “Are you talking about my snuggie?”

“Your what-ee?”

“Snuggie,” I repeated. “It’s like a big, soft blanket you can wear as a robe.”

“Spitz—” Her lip curled as she held up one corner. “—it’s got that little green guy on it.”

I tugged the material away, frowning. “That’s Yoda.”

“I know who it is.”

“It’s aStar Warssnuggie. Special edition.”

Hooker sighed. “Spitz, are you kidding me with this?”

“What?”

“This.” She held out a hand, gesturing to me. “Are you really going to let Becks do this to you?”

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