Page 42 of Adorkable

Before I could ask what she meant, a voice sounded over the intercom.

“Seniors please report to the auditorium for today’s Crack Down on Crime assembly. We’ll be calling juniors in the next few minutes, and then sophomores and freshmen subsequently.”

I shut my eyes.

“What,” Hooker said, “don’t tell me you forgot? Spitz, you dread this day.”

She was right. I usually planned ahead, arranged to be “sick” on CDOC day. My untimely forgetfulness showed how distracting Becks and the F.B.F. plan truly were. I considered telling Ms. Vega I was ill—my rolling stomach was a recent development, but it was real enough. She’d probably let me duck out of assembly, go to the nurse.

But then I would have let him scare me off.

That was something I couldn’t—wouldn’t—let happen. Taking a mental health day was one thing, but hiding in the nurse’s station while he preened in front of my peers was plain out yellow-bellied.

There was only one thing to do.

“Scheisse,” I cursed.

“Scheisse,” Hooker agreed. “Your Dad’s a totalscheissehead full ofscheisse. He’s just one big piece ofscheissewith a badge.”

I forced a smile but couldn’t make it stick.

Time to go watch Deputy Dad play the hero for a crowd of unsuspectings, I thought.

Dad was a good showman; I’d give him that. For the kids and most of the teachers, it was love at first sight. Him, the shiny black uniform, his stories of crime and capture, they bought it all. About thirty minutes in, a girl from my class leaned over and said, “Man, Spitz, your Dad is awesome.” That was when he was demonstrating the different ways to take down an assailant on the run. The tackle had been impressive, I supposed, but not unexpected. The guy was half his size, and Dad, a former linebacker, had attacked from behind. Hardly fair, if you ask me.

Hearing this, stats teacher Mr. Woodruff spun around in his chair a row in front of us, stars in his eyes.

“Are you telling me that’s your father up there?” Mr. Woodruff was obviously under Nick Spitz’s spell.

“That’s right,” I said, trying not to sound bitter.

“You’re one lucky girl,” he remarked then turned back around.

I grimaced.

Dad and the other officers had moved on to the PowerPoint portion. There were multiple slides, one displaying a pie chart of casualty rates for the city, another with definitions for the different types of crime and prison sentences for each, a promo for the department, including traits they looked for in potential candidates, and the last outlining the ways citizens could help by upholding the law and cracking down on crime in their own neighborhoods. It ended with my dad spouting off some nonsense about how the youth was our future and could change the world.

When the never-ending PSA was over, everyone cheered. Hooker and I kept our hands planted in our laps. I was sure she did it more to support me than anything, but I appreciated the gesture.

Seniors got to stay behind and ask questions while the cops made their way down to the audience. Dad didn’t look at me once. Not even when there was a question from the guy directly to my right, Everett Ponce, a total brownnoser. It was like I was invisible—which was fine with me so long as I got out of there without having to trade words with the jerk.

Classes started filing out. I thought I was in the clear when a familiar voice said, “Not even going to say hi to me, huh?”

I took a deep breath then pivoted around.

“Hey, Dad.”

My voice sounded stiff, but it couldn’t be helped. There he was, Deputy Nick Spitz, crime fighter, revered cop, award-winning officer and crap-tastic father of the decade. The last was my own personal award. He was a hero to everyone but me and for good reason.

“Hi there, Sally girl,” he said like we chatted every day. “How’s your mother?”

“Mom’s fantastic.” I hated when he called me that.

“Still working at that bridal place?”

“Yeah,” I said, happy for the first time since I’d seen him. “She actually got a big promotion two months ago.”

His smile widened. “Well, that’s great. Not much farther she can go in that place, but that’s just terrific. I’m glad to hear she’s moving up in the world.”

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