Page 134 of The Art of Exiley

“Wait. What do you mean you kept me out of it?” I mumble into her shoulder.

“I didn’t let the Families initiate you when you came of age. I didn’t want them to know about your abilities and make you their constant test subject.”

What?

I pull away from the hug and play her words over again in my head.

I didn’t let the Families initiate you.

“I thought I wasn’t initiated because I wasn’t good enough?” Even thinking about it has familiar shame resurfacing.

My mother takes my face in her hands, looks me in the eyes, and says, “Ada, you havealwaysbeen good enough.”

I can barely breathe.

My mother keeps speaking, softly stroking my cheek. “The reason I finally allowed them to initiate you is so that you would be recruited to the institute. I wanted you there for your own safety. The moment the Familieslearned about your gift, I knew I needed to keep you away from them.”

Mygift. Is that what she thinks of my abilities? Then how could she have made me think of them as a curse?

My pulse echoes in my ears, and my voice quavers when I say, “I thought you were scared of me.”

“I was never scared of you. I was only ever scaredforyou. Terrified. Of what the Families might do if they understood what you are.”

There’s a stinging behind my eyes and in the back of my throat as my mind rearranges my view of reality once again.

Mom leans back against the counter with a sigh. “Ada, your abilities, they’re genetic; they run in our family. Your grandmother didn’t have them, but she thought I might. When I was young, they were constantly testing me. I spent half of my middle school years being analyzed in a lab until they finally determined I wasn’t what they were hoping for. I didn’t want that for you.”

I don’t even know what to say. This is the last thing I expected to hear. I mean, I knew being a Sire was genetic. It probably should have occurred to me that it might run in the family.

“All my life,” my mother continues, “I’ve felt like I needed to work harder than everyone else to make up for the fact that I had failed to be born exceptional. It became a challenge. If I could perfect everything within my control, then maybe what was out of my control would matter less. But I never wantedyouto feel that way. I couldn’t bear for you to have the weight of the Families’ scrutiny on you the way I did. And you didn’t need them pushing you. You have always managed to be exceptional based on your own standards, not anyone else’s.” She takes both of my hands in hers. “And I’m so proud of you for it.”

I pull my hand away, but just so I can wipe my wet cheeks. And my nose.

“Why couldn’t you have told me all of this sooner? I thought I was such a failure.”

“I’m so sorry. Your grandmother… She would try to motivate me by telling me about her difficulties growing up. But it always felt like she was trying to manipulate my emotions to bend me into what she wanted me to be. I didn’t want to do that to you, but clearly I overcorrected.” She hands me her napkin to help deal with my snot fountain. “But even though I’ve been distant and busy and not as forthcoming as you needed me to be, it’s because I was working to keep you safe. Everything I have done has been to protect you.”

Were all those years of feeling inadequate worth that protection?

The anger over the possible answer to that question is overshadowed by a bone-deep sense of relief. And an extra boost of confidence that the ridiculous thing I’m about to do is the right thing. If my own mother, who has been deeply involved with the Families her whole life, thinks they’re so dangerous she had to keep her daughter away from them, what does that say about what they’re capable of? But now that my mother is being up front with me, maybe she can help.

“Mom, Kor started the next stage of Operation Genesis early, and I need to stop him. Do you know anything about it?”

“I wish I did, but the Oculus gave Kor free rein to act without the Inner Chamber’s approval, and he hasn’t shared his plans with any of us. And the Inner Chamber members are annoyed with me because I accidentally”—she puts the word in air quotes—“deleted footage of you from North Brother Island, so they’re stonewalling me on everything.”

Wow, she really has been working for me behind the scenes, and I had no idea.

“I don’t know how to make Kor listen to me, if I can even get to him in time.”

She strokes my hair. “Ada, I have no doubt that you can do this.” There’s a pride in her voice that seeps through me and fills in the cracks of so manyold wounds. “You are so brave and so resourceful, and if that boy listens to anyone besides the Grand Master, it’s you.”

She pulls me into a last hug and kisses the top of my head.

It’s time to do this.

And Ican. Because I’m a Sire and a Maker, and I’m gravdamn fast on a hoverboard.

And Iwilldo what has to be done.

---