Page 64 of Still Made For You

“You’ve really got me fucked up right now. When I asked you to make things official with me, Sincere became a part of the package. I can’t call myself a man and allow you to have to figure anything out on your own. Especially when I have the resources to provide for the both of you. If being in a relationship with me means he doesn’t want the responsibility of being a parent, don’t force it. I’ve got y’all for whatever you need.” More tears fell as I rested my head on his shoulder.

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” Onyx has been one of the biggest blessings in my life as well as my son. Even when I tried to tell him, he didn’t have to do certain things for him, he paid me no mind.

When I first introduced the two of them, they hit it off immediately. Now you would think I was the girlfriend, and he was his real father. Sincere loved him and knowing he loved my baby the way he does further confirms he’s the person I’m supposed to be with.

“You won’t ever have to worry about finding out because I plan to be here for a lifetime. I told you in the beginning, I’m never letting you go. One of these days, the two of you will be rocking my last name on jerseys and on paper. You won’t ever have to question my love for you or him. I’m here for the long haul, baby. Ain’t no getting rid of me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

***

“Every time I think you can’t get any finer to me, here you go proving me wrong.” Onyx complimented me as we stood in front of the bathroom mirror. We were headed to Law’s welcome home/birthday party. I initially declined to go because they were Freedom’s family, but the ladies cussed me out before inviting Onyx and me. All the ladies were coming with their men, and I anticipated us having a good time. Mrs. Faith came and kidnapped her grandson this afternoon letting me know she wouldn’t be attending the party because she was the babysitter for the evening. The gratitude in my heart for her was in abundance.

Ever since my talk with the ladies, I decided to put my pride aside and take advantage of my village. For some reason, I thought they wouldn’t want to help me since I was no longer with Freedom, but the whole family showed up for me in a major way.

Between her, River, Yaya, and his uncles: O2 and Oh’Shun, I barely got to see my son on the weekends. His little butt couldn’t get enough of all of the love in his life. I’d never be able to repay them for all they’ve done for me. Sincere’s room was filled to capacity from them constantly buying clothes for him. With Christmas only being two months away, I knew I’d need to make room for more stuff.

“Thank you, baby. You’re looking fine as always.” I stood there admiring the two of us together.

These last four months have been a dream. In the beginning, I thought we were going to be having fun. Nothing too serious, no strings attached. My pre-conceived judgment of dating an athlete caused me to enter into this with my guard up. However, this man was not going for any of that. When he promised he’d take care of my heart, he meant it.

Onyx brought me a sense of peace and security I’d never experienced before. It felt surreal at times because I wondered when the other shoe would drop. He seemed too good to be true some days, but his actions lined up with his words.

“I love you, ma. Do you know that?” I beamed at his declaration. The first time he told me he loved me, I thought I would pass out. It felt so good to be able to freely love a man and have him reciprocate the same love.

“Yes, baby. I love you too.” He kissed my neck which was one of my spots. Squirming in his hold, I tried not to moan.

“When I look at you, I see my future and that’s big for me. People think being a professional athlete and public figure means you have access to all this love. It’s not like that at all because you’re constantly having to watch to see if a person is really there for you or what you can do for them.

My last relationship showed me you can give your all to a person and it still won’t be enough if their intentions aren’t pure. I know you love a nigga because you do things for me that money can’t buy. You and Sincere bring me peace. Spending the majority of my life in the limelight, I need a place to go where I can shut the world out and just be me. That’s what you provide for me. It’s funny because when Messiah and Yaya got together, he would go on and on about how her and Deuce completed him. I thought I’d found that in my past relationship, but the two of us weren’t on the same page.

Most men our age aren’t thinking about coming home to a family every night. Especially in our line of work, where you’re constantly being sought after. The spotlight can often cloud your judgement when it comes to relationships, you know. Having money comes with a lot of privileges including women.” I frowned at the last part of his statement.

“Don’t give me that look.” He warned, kissing me along my temple.

Of course, I’m well aware Onyx had a past prior to me. It still was hard imagining him with another woman. Especially if he fucked any of them the way he fucks me. I’d never understood the term ‘dickmatized’ until the night after the cookout. He’d turned me every which way, but loose and now I’m on him real bad.

“This lifestyle comes with a lot of temptation, but none of it lasts. The pleasure only lasts for a fleeting moment then you’re back feeling empty. Having the two of you in my life filled the empty places in my heart. I’m proud each day I get to show you off to the world because I’ve found the person who makes me whole.” My heart fluttered. It never ceased to amaze me how just being in his presence could turn a sad day upside down.

He truly cared about me, and he showed it in every way. To think I almost gave up on love after Freedom. Then here comes Onyx swooping in to save the day.

“Thank you for loving me the way you do. I know I give you a hard time when it comes to you providing for me, but I’m working on it.” He scoffed, and all I could do was laugh.

Onyx normally leaves money for me whenever I spend the night over here. For the first couple of months, I’d stick the money back into his nightstand until he caught on. It frustrated him to no end and caused many disagreements in our relationship.

It got so bad that Onyx reached out to Yaya to talk some sense into me. All it took was one group call for me to get my act together. After talking to them, I realized I was denying Onyx the opportunity to be the provider in our relationship. I’d allowed my past trauma to infiltrate my current relationship which wasn’t fair to him.

Freedom wasn’t the main root of it either. My childhood shaped me into believing people only do things for you with the expectation of receiving something in return. In most cases it always panned out to be true so it’s what I stuck with. I never wanted to be in debt or give another person something to hold over my head.

I’d gotten much better with allowing my man to take care of me. Part of the reason was because I really believed he did it out of love. He never made me feel as if I owed him. Shoot, I’d tried to pay him back many times only for him to give me that look to tell me I had him fucked up. It was a blessing to be able to be loved from a healthy place.

“Let’s get up out of here before I fuck around and bend your ass over.” He warned. My nipples grew hard thinking about him being inside of me.

“Get it out of your head right now. Meet me at the garage in ten minutes, woman.” Smacking my butt one last time, he left the room.

My phone vibrated showing an incoming call from River. I prayed she wasn’t calling to try and defend her stupid ass cousin. Normally, she kept things neutral, but I didn’t know what he was telling people on his end.

“Hey, Pooh. Are y’all on the way to the club yet?” Her and Triniti were supposed to be meeting us there with their boyfriends.

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