Page 37 of Still Made For You

“That’s the shit I want to hear. The two of you had a great season in basketball, so I already know y’all are about to show out again. Just remember what I told you. Always observe your opponents and try to stay ten steps ahead of them.”

“I got you; I’ve been watching ol’ tapes and plays with Papa Truth. You never told me he used to be a running back. He’s been teaching us all types of skills.” I smirked as I saw his eyes light up. My father and I’s relationship has come a long way, but he really stepped up when he came to these kids.

Cayden, Cartier, and Orion loved spending time with him, especially during fishing season. It reminded me of my cousins and brothers and me when we were younger. We loved going out on the boat with my dad and uncles. Uncle Prosper was always doing some crazy shit that kept us in stitches, and Uncle Knowledge was just the cool uncle. He used to let us hold his guns and play with his collectors’ knives.

It wasn’t often that we were able to spend time with them all together, so we lived for those moments. Seeing my father step into this role as a grandfather gave me a new respect for him. He loved them all unconditionally, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for them. Hell, Cayden didn’t even like to call Justice when he got into trouble. He’d call my dad because he knew he’d go to bat for him.

It’s funny seeing him switch up the rules since he used to be so strict when we were coming up. He let those little niggas get away with murder most times, and even when he tried to be strict, it never lasted long.

“Go ahead and get washed up for dinner. We can get in a few rounds on the game after we eat,” I stood up, then kissed the top of his head. He groaned like he does every night because he swore, he was too old for hugs and affection.

I didn’t give a damn how old he got; I’d always show him love. I made a promise to do so when Tru graced the world with her presence. I wanted my children to know I loved them in every way. They might grow up and question a lot of things in life, but my love wouldn’t be one of those things.

“I love you, O. I’m proud of you, man. This year is going to be one the best yet, and I’ll be in the stand cheering you on at every game. Matter of fact, I might need to see if your mom can get me a shirt with your number on it that says: Father of the winner, sorry your son's a bitch.”

“Ummm, dad. I’m pretty sure they won’t let you in with a shirt like that.” Orion shook his head.

“Hey, it’s worth a shot.” I shrugged, heading towards the door.

“Hey. dad?” My head turned back towards him to see what he wanted.

“I love you, too. Thank you for everything.” I nodded, heading into the hallway. My family meant the world to me and I would do whatever I can to keep them happy.

ten

“Idon’tcareaboutanyof the mess the two of you have going on. This has been going on long enough. My grandson’s birthday is coming up, and if you think for one second, I’m going to miss his birthday party, you’ve got me messed up. This is why you young folks shouldn’t even be having children. As soon as one of you gets upset, the baby becomes a pawn in your little game,” my mother Faith fussed at me. I’d only been in the house for ten minutes before she started going in on me.

Breyoun’s cousin, Markeisha, posted a flyer advertising Sincere’s birthday party, which upset my mother since she knew nothing about it. I agreed with her because our issues have nothing to do with my family. I didn’t want this to be a back-and-forth thing between us every time we disagreed on something, but it was much easier said than done.

“I’m supposed to be picking him up in an hour, so I’ll talk to her. She’s been showing out after Myia posted that status about bitter baby mommas. I told her to take it down, but the damage had already been done. I’m tired of fighting all the time, and now that I’m finally able to see my son more often, I’m not trying to do anything to jeopardize it.”

“Are you still screwing her?” The bite of food I was eating went down the wrong pipe, causing me to choke. I reached for the water next to me and then took a swig of it.

“See, that right there tells me everything I need to know. How can you expect to have a healthy co-parenting relationship when you’re still putting your little penis in that girl,” my mom huffed, wiping the counter a little more aggressively than normal.

“I’m trying, but it’s not always easy. I still have love for Breyoun, but we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things.”

“Freedom, you came from my womb, so you can’t fool me for one second. You’re having sex with her on a regular basis, making her believe the two of you have some kind of future together, just for you to turn around and pop up with the next girl. How do you expect her to think with a clear mind when you are sending her mixed signals? No wonder she keeps pushing us all away. You need to decide what it is that you want. Think about your son and the way all of this affects him. She’s raising him primarily alone, and that’s a lot of pressure from one person. You’re not helping by adding more confusion to the situation. If you don’t want to be with her, then leave her alone.” My mother was always the person that I went to for advice, even if I didn’t always agree with it.

Breyoun and I have always had a back-and-forth relationship for as long as I can remember. We’d make up one week, then break up the next, but we never stopped having sex. When she got pregnant with Sincere that’s when everything changed for us. Of course, I had no clue that the reason she had been so distant was because she was carrying my seed. Had I known, I would never have allowed so much time to pass by without being there for them.

Now, it felt like I was paying for it because she couldn’t seem to move past her own feelings to focus on our son’s future. Though I agree with my mother about not blurring lines, it was easier said than done. Most times when I went to pick up my son, I promised myself that I would keep it platonic, then the moment I got in her presence and saw her fine, thick ass, everything changed. I was man enough to admit that I couldn’t let her go, even though I knew that I wasn’t ready to give her what she needed. Was it selfish? Yes. However, I couldn’t see anything changing between us.

I love my son, and I didn’t regret him at all, but I wasn’t ready to settle down yet. I’ve been fortunate enough to grow up in a two-parent home, so naturally, it’s what I wanted for my future children. Breyoun was an amazing woman and mother, but I wanted to live life wild and carefree. I know that probably sounds selfish, considering the fact that I made her a mother, but at least I was being honest. A lot of times, men will sell women a dream, knowing damn well they don’t want to be with that woman. My love for Breyoun wouldn’t allow me to make promises that I knew I couldn’t keep.

If I had it my way, she would wait around until I was ready to grow up and become ready to settle down. However, I would never ask her to do something like that. I’m in the prime of my life, with an abundance of women at my fingertips. The idea of coming home to one woman just didn’t do it for me.

Most of the women in my family didn’t agree with the way that I handled the situation, but their opinions meant nothing to me. When Breyoun and I first got together, it was supposed to be on some friends-with-benefits type shit. No strings attached and no catching feelings. Of course, just like most of those stories, it ended up with us both catching feelings and more strings than I ever could’ve imagined. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

Now here we are going through all this drama, and I hated that shit. My son deserved to be loved by two parents who are healthy and happy. Although we were both in good health, neither of us were happy. Breyoun didn’t want to settle for being one of many, and I damn sure wasn’t offering her any commitment. There were too many bitches for me to settle down with just one.

“I’m going to fix this, mom. I promise. Even if she only allows you all to come, I’ll figure it out. All I know is that I’m not going to miss an opportunity to celebrate my son’s birthday. Even if we have to put our differences aside for one day, we will have to work it out.” Now, all I needed to do was convince Breyoun.

***

“You’re late!” Breyoun huffed, turning to walk away from the door. My eyes were so focused on her fat ass jiggling that I paid no mind to her attitude. Hell, it’s become the norm for us here lately.

“I’m not trying to argue with you today, Breyoun. I’m here to get my son, all that extra shit is unnecessary.”

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