Page 32 of Still Made For You

“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” My hands started sweating like a child waiting for their punishment. Justice rarely got upset with me, and when he did, it gave me anxiety.

“Do you love me?” Reaching for my hand, he pulled me between his legs, where he sat on the end of his desk.

“Of course I do. Why would you ask me something like that?” Justice observed me for an uncomfortable amount of time.

“Then why haven’t you told me about the tour with Rule?” My breathing sped up rapidly as the two of us stared at one another. The only people who knew about the opportunity were Rule, Nayeli, and Janae. It’s possible Janae may have told Wise, but she promised not to say anything.

“There’s no point in you racking your brain around who told me. The only thing I’m interested in knowing is why I haven’t heard this news from my woman.” The look on his face told me I’d disappointed him.

“I’ve been trying to find the right time to talk to you about it, but the wedding planning took precedence. Nayeli reached out today for an answer, but I let her know I needed to talk it over with you first.”

“And when were you planning on doing that?” He probed, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“When you got home tonight,” I admitted. His eyebrow raised, and his head tilted a bit.

“I’m being serious. I planned to talk to you tonight. We’ve both been working so hard, and I didn’t want to bother you.” The scoff from him told me my answer wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“What am I doing wrong?” He asked. This time, his tone changed to one of concern, sending me into a panic.

“What do you mean, baby?”

“Ciyani, we’re about to get married soon. How are we going to do so if you’re not comfortable sharing your wins with me? What am I doing that would make you believe for one second you couldn’t tell me?” My heart sunk to my feet. This wasn’t the reaction I expected at all. I thought he’d be upset about me waiting to tell him, but not this.

“Baby, don’t do this. You haven’t done anything wrong. I-I don’t know. I wasn’t sure if I should take the opportunity, so I wanted to make sure it’s what I wanted before I brought it to you.” His face turned up into a frown.

“Come on, lil’ baby. Keep it real with me. Why would you even consider turning down an opportunity like this?”

“I mean, we’re going to be newlyweds. What am I supposed to do? Pack up and leave a few months after we tie the knot?”

“Ciyani-”

“That’s not my name,” I cut him off, poking my lips out so he knew I meant business.

“It’s your name when you start acting like this. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and I will be less of a man if I allow you to miss out on it. Being newlyweds won’t change whether you stay or leave. I’ll still be your husband, no matter what state you are in. Plus, you’re crazy if you think that I’m not going to pull up on my woman.” I giggled when he tickled me under my arms. I stepped closer, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“I love you with every breath in my body, and you should know me better than that. I would never stand in the way of you and your dreams. Why would you even want to marry a man like that? Huh?”

“It’s not that simple. I didn’t hesitate because I thought you wouldn’t support me. I guess I didn’t like the idea of us not being together so early in our marriage. I don’t want you to look at me like a bad wife.” His expression told me I had lost my mind, and hearing myself say it out loud I felt even dumber for even holding it in.

“Baby, I love you. Yes, we are a couple, but we are also individuals chasing after our own dreams and goals. There’s nothing wrong with us setting boundaries and coming to an understanding. This is a huge deal, and it’s only going to help propel your career even further. Six months is nothing compared to a lifetime of happiness and success. Contrary to what you believe, I know how to take care of myself,” he expressed.

“Yes, but you’re not the only person I have to consider. Cayden and Cartier are too young to take care of themselves. I mean, sure, they can get themselves ready for school and take care of their homework, but what about the day-to-day? Who’s going to feed them? Make sure they take baths and get back-and-forth to practice?” Justice placed his palm on top of my forehead as if he was checking my temperature.

“Stop, I’m being serious. You have a very busy schedule, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to ask you to make such a huge sacrifice,” I reasoned.

“Then you must not know what marriage is about. This is our family. Cayden and Cartier are just as much my responsibility as they are yours. It’s not a sacrifice to take care of them because it’s what I’m doing now. The boys and I will be fine without you. It seems to me that you might be the one with separation issues,” he called out.

He may have been onto something. I mean, let’s face it, I have never truly been apart from the boys since they were babies. The longest I’ve ever been away from them was for a couple of days, so the idea of being away from them for months at a time worried me. What if an emergency happened and I’m all the way across the country? I’ll never be able to live with myself if something were to happen to them while I was gone.

“I can see the wheels in your head turning, and you’re overthinking as usual. All we need is food, water, and cable. Those are the essentials for any man. I promise you have nothing to worry about. Not only will I be helping, but you have to remember we have a whole village behind us. You’re not in this alone anymore.” His words soothed my spirit in a way I couldn’t describe. I’d been so used to doing this on my own, it hadn’t dawned on me that we have a family now.

The boys would still be able to keep their same routines and everything without being shifted from one place to the next. The revelation brought tears to my eyes as I reflected on Papa Truth’s words. I could finally do something for myself and not worry about feeling guilty.

“Look at my crybaby ass fiancée. One of these days, it’s going to sink in, but until then, I’m going to keep reminding you. I’ve got your back, lil’ baby. Don’t ever keep important news away from me. I’m your biggest cheerleader. How the hell am I supposed to do that if you’re keeping shit from me?” This time, he poked his lips out for me to kiss. I giggled at his version of a peace offering.

“I can’t believe you called me by my government name. I’m supposed to always be your lil’ baby,” I whined.

“My spoiled lil’ baby with the hard ass head. What am I going to do with you? Huh?” Cupping his face with my hands, I pecked his lips a couple more times.

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