Page 1 of Still Made For You

one

May 2022

“Man,Ican’tbelieveyou got me out here looking like one of those dudes from Men In Black. These pants are tight as hell; got my balls showing and everything,” Loyal complained. We were at our tux fitting, and of course, his ass was acting up.

“I told you not to get that style in the first place. We’re too tall to be wearing this style,” I advised. Our family was full of tall men, so the last thing we needed was to be lined up with skinny ass suits on.

“The shit looked cool in this pamphlet she gave us, but I’m not feeling the idea of my dick being out for all the saints and sinners to see. Plus, Ty isn’t going for all of that.” He turned to the mirror once more to examine the suit. The colors for the wedding were royal blue and white. Yani wanted a Winter Wonderland theme, so I tried my best to make it happen. The men would wear white tuxes, while the ladies wore royal blue dresses.

The seamstress took Wise’s measurements in the corner. When I glanced over there, he displayed an uncomfortable expression.

“Are you good over there, bro?” He flinched. I assumed she must have stuck him with a pin on the side of his pants.

“You are a very tall man; hold still!” Loyal and I laughed as she handled him like a misbehaving child.

“Bro, over there looking like he’s about to get a whupping.’”

“Both of y’all can kiss my- ouch! What the hell?” Wise stepped down from the platform.

“I said hold still!” Despite being an old-school lady, Marietta was one of the town’s best seamstresses. She gave the orders, and you followed them.

“Laugh now because we’ll be switching places before you know it, mothafuckas.” Wise retorted. Our father, Truth, walked through the door just moments later.

“What’s up, Pops?” We shook hands before embracing one another. I’d invited the three of them with me because we hardly ever got to spend time with just us. Our relationship with our father included the typical difficulties of any other family, but it was time for us to return back to the love.

“Hey, sons,” he spoke and embraced both Loyal and Wise as well.

“What’s up, old man?”

“You’re the one with gray hairs on your head, but you’re calling me old,” he teased. Loyal made a video a few weeks ago showing he’d found a few gray hairs since the birth of Tru.

“Aye, I’m still sensitive about that. I might need to buy the same hair dye you used to hide in your bathroom when we were kids. The one with the big ass afro and the cheesy ass grin on his face, looking like he ate ass for breakfast.”

“One of these days, I need you to grow up. Your mother swore those tumbles out of the bed were harmless, but now I think we should have sued somebody for compensation.” Shaking his head, Pops sat in a chair next to me.

“How are you feeling, son? Your wedding day will be here before you know it. Are you getting nervous yet? Any cold feet?” Pondering his question, I thought about what I felt at the moment. If anyone had told me I’d marry my best friend in my twenties, I’d call them a liar. In my mind, I wouldn’t even be considering marriage until my late thirties, so it was all surreal to me. One thing I knew without a doubt was that she was my person. If I had to walk through this life with anyone on this earth, it would always be Ciyani.

“Naw, I’m not nervous at all. Y’all should be grateful I wanted Ciyani to have this experience; otherwise, we would have gone right to the Justice of the Peace. I love my girl more than I’ve ever loved another soul outside of family. Ciyani is my world, and I’m ready to give her the last name Graham.” Truth grinned, stretching his legs out in the chair.

“Ciyani is genuinely a blessing to us. I’m happy for both of you. Marriage comes with no instruction manual. It won’t be perfect; nothing in life ever is. All I will say to you is, don’t quit. People often go into it thinking it will be nothing but sunshine and rainbows, but it’s not. There will be times when the only thing you have to hold onto is your love for each other. She will get on your nerves just as much as you’ll get on hers. You won’t always understand one another, but the important thing is to keep trying.

Communicate your feelings even when you feel you’re not being heard. Consider your partner in all major areas of your life. Women are sensitive; they require a lot of attention and reassurance. The same things you do to make sure she feels valued now; you need to carry it over into your marriage. Discuss your plans with her. Make her feel included. Some people make it more challenging than it should be, but if you get the foundation straight, everything else will fall in line.

Apologize often. Sometimes, what we feel isn’t a big deal to us means everything to them. I remember buying your mother flowers every Tuesday, just because. I’d started it when we were dating, so when we got married, I continued the tradition. Anyway, one Tuesday, I got into an altercation with these young cats on the corner and forgot to stop by the flower shop on the way home. Your mother didn’t speak to me for two whole days.” He chuckled as he recalled the memory.

“You should have seen me pacing the kitchen trying to figure out what I’d done wrong. I called my momma on the phone to ensure I hadn’t forgotten one of your birthdays or our anniversary. It wasn’t until I stopped in the local coffee shop the following day that I received my answer. The girl who usually takes my flower order asked me why I hadn’t been in to see them that week. It felt like I’d solved one of the greatest mysteries known to man. I left the coffee shop, ordered those flowers, and begged Ophelia for forgiveness.

In her mind, I’d forgotten about her or somehow loved her less. She never cared about the fancy dresses, diamonds, or designer purses I’d bought her. However, those flowers were symbolic. It reminded her every day that no matter what I had going on in life, she stayed on my mind. After that day, I signed up to have them delivered every Tuesday. She was the most important woman in my world, and if a dozen roses were what it took to express my love for her, then I’d do it in a heartbeat.

Even now, I go to the cemetery every Tuesday to ensure my baby gets her flowers. That’s what love is all about, son—compromise, communication, consideration, and care. Ophelia gave me things money couldn’t buy, and in exchange, I made sure she never went a day without knowing she mattered. Now, did I make mistakes? Damn right, I did. However, I made them right each time.

Accountability makes a difference in marriage. It’s okay to be wrong, but you must be prepared to acknowledge your faults. That’s what separates the men from the boys.

A true leader understands they’re not always right. It’s simply impossible, being that we’re in this fleshly body.” My father was full of wisdom; he always had been. I considered it a blessing to have him still around to glean from.

I listened when he spoke, knowing his advice would only improve me. People think you have to be perfect to give guidance, but it’s the ones who were once lost who have the potential to become the best leaders. There’s no such thing as a perfect person; however, being able to turn things around makes the difference. Truth Graham represented the blueprint of what it meant to be a man. It’s trial and error, but those core values will forever stand out. He’d molded me into the man I am, and I’m grateful to take all that knowledge and those lessons with me to impart to the young men I’m raising.

“Alright, who’s next?” We all glanced at one another before we burst into laughter. I know Marietta wanted us out of her shop.

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