Page 26 of Oh No, I Shot A Spaceship And Kissed An Alien Cyberchef

My heart nearly stops beating. There, before my very eyes, is General Karzak. He’s just as I remember him. His skin a darker shade than mine. Long, dark hair, tied at his nape. Broad shoulders, imposing… Larger than life.

“Ah, so this is where the magic happens!” Karzak booms, his eyes sweeping over the kitchen, most likely noting each and every flaw: the mess of undusted flour, spilled sauce, and unwashed bowls.

I incline my head respectfully, years of ingrained protocol kicking in despite my fear. I dare to glance up, meeting the General’s eyes for a brief moment.

There’s a flicker of something in his gaze – recognition, perhaps surprise. But it’s gone in an instant, replaced by a bland and uninterested mask.

“You’ve assembled quite the team here, Rist,” he says, turning to the Prince. I struggle not to flinch at the implication of those words.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Laura hastily wiping her hands on her apron before offering an awkward curtsy. My hand snakes out, gripping hers. I hold onto her as tightly as I dare.

I haven’t told her. I should have told her.

“Please, there’s no need for such formality,” General Karzak says directly to Laura, waving a hand dismissively. “I’ve come to make an unusual request, actually. Rist herehas been telling me about the unique... atmosphere of your establishment. I was hoping we might dine here, in the kitchen, rather than in my suite. To get a true feel for the place, you understand.”

I blink, caught off guard by the request. Dining in the kitchen? It’s unheard of for someone of the General’s stature. I look to Rist, hoping for some guidance, but he merely shrugs, a slightly strained smile on his face. Thanks for the help, buddy. Really stellar leadership there.

“Of course, sir,” I hear Laura saying. “We would be honored to accommodate your request.”

I jump into action, quickly clearing a space at one of the prep tables, careful to keep my face averted.

“We’ll have it ready for you in just a moment, sir,” Laura says behind me, her tone professional despite the unusual circumstances.

As I scramble to set up an impromptu dining area, I notice Zoreth quietly taking up a position near the door. His eyes scan the room constantly, his posture alert. It’s a stark reminder that for all his easy charm, he’s a trained soldier first and foremost.

I swallow the rising panic. It’s not like last time. It’s nothing like last time. Except for the part where I’m cooking for important people who could end my career (and possibly my life) with a single word. No pressure.

The General didn’t recognize me… did he?

We serve the meal with as much ceremony as we can muster in the cramped kitchen space. It’s all I can do to stop my hands shaking— a near impossibility with my cybernetic arm. Thankfully, General Karzak seems delighted by the informal setting.

“This is extraordinary,” he declares after his firstbite. “Honestly, I haven’t been treated to traditionally cooked food since… well, you’ve outdone yourself, Chef.”

A soft smile spreads across Laura’s face. The sight of it makes my heart skip a beat. She is a chef in truth, making marvels that I can only dream of. I could learn so much from her. I want to learn from her. I’m struck by her strength, her adaptability. She’s faced so much since coming to this strange world, yet she faces each new challenge with determination and grace. Meanwhile, I’m over here trying not to have a nervous breakdown over dinner service.

The conversation begins to flow freely, with General Karzak regaling us with tales of his adventures throughout the universe. He only pauses to savor another bite or cough politely into his hand. As time passes, I begin to relax more. Maybe this won’t be a total disaster after all. Maybe I can get through this without embarrassing myself or revealing my sordid past.

It’s as we are serving the final course, the dessert I’d been so looking forward to, that my worst nightmare occurs. General Karzak starts coughing, and he doesn’t stop. His skin begins to turn a pale pink.

“I... I don’t feel...” He doesn’t finish the sentence. His eyes roll back, and he slumps forward, narrowly missing face-planting into his plate as Rist catches him.

“General!” Rist cries out, lowering him gently to the floor, Zoreth at his side helping.

I’m frozen, my mind refusing to process what I’m seeing. This can’t be happening. Not again.

“You!” Zoreth looks up, directly at me. “I knew I recognized you.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I stammer, backingaway. My gaze darts around the kitchen, landing on Laura who’s rushing forward towards Rist and the General with a glass of water. The male groans, struggling to breathe, his hand clawing at the collar around his neck.

“You did this!” Zoreth snaps, advancing upon me. He grips my shoulder, fingers tightening painfully, claws digging into my skin. “You poisoned the General.”

Zoreth speaks something into his wrist communicator… his words blurring out into a static buzz in my ears as shock settles in.

Within moments, the room is flooding with soldiers. It’s like every single male aboard the General’s ship has suddenly found themselves in the vicinity, all looking murderous. It’s like they’ve been waiting all this time just to catch me.

“No,” Laura gasps. “There must be some mistake. Nelan would never?—“

“Your mistake was poisoning my General,” Zoreth hisses, cutting her off. “I might not have recognized the fugitive who poisoned my glorious king otherwise. But fools never change their ways, do they?”

---