Page 54 of Dashing for Love

Spoiler alert: I already know I like him. But it’s clear he needs a bit more time to sort this out.

“So, a date that’s not a date at the Mexican restaurant? We keep this under the radar while we figure it all out.”

He nods again, his smile genuine. I can practically feel the nerves seep out of his skin.

I scoot closer, unable to keep my hands to myself anymore. “Does that mean we can make out some more?” I grin cheekily, running a hand up his arm and to his chest.

God, his chest. It’s what my dreams are made of.

“Yeah.” He smiles. “We can do that.”

I reach for him, relishing the solid weight of him as we sink into the mattress. His kisses set me on fire, and the way our bodies fit together is insane. He seems to know exactly what I want and when, taking my mouth in a deep kiss before pulling back to linger on my lips.

We stare at each other. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I know that I could welcome the dawn every morning with him for the rest of my life and be content. I’d bemorethan content. It’d be a dream come true. Looking into his deep brown eyes and swimming in the kindness I see there forever? Sign me up.

A bit later, we get up and Matty makes a pot of coffee. I toast some bread and we have a simple breakfast surrounded by Killer, Kitty, Crush, the orange tabby, and Spot, the calico cat. Apparently Hedgie prefers to sleep in, so I don’t get to see him.

Matty calls an Uber for us to take back to the bar. The second we climb into the back seat, I feel him withdraw. It’s visceral, the disappointment that floods me. Is this how he’s going to be in public? Even though he said hedidn’twant to keep this quiet?

I fold my hands in my lap and squeeze. I can’t spiral. I’m better than this.

At least, I’d like to think I am. There’s a difference between what I think and the way I actually react, though, isn’t there? I guess my true colors are about to come flying out. Maybe I’mnotall sunshine and rainbows. Only time will tell.

We arrive at the bar, neither of us having spoken the whole ride. I’m sure the driver must think this is a morning-after gone terribly wrong, and he might be right. The idea sours my stomach.

We get out and the driver leaves, and we face each other.

Matty grins. “How did I miss this thing when I came here last night?” He nods at my Jeep, decked out with its row of rubber ducks gracing the dashboard.

“Probably because you beat me here,” I tease.

He huffs out a wry laugh. “That’s right.”

“Well…” I trail off, suddenly unsure and hating myself for it. “I guess…I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah.” He nods and shoves his hands in his pockets.

I eye him. “Right.”

“Okay.”

“Um…okay. Call me? I mean, call me.” I make myself sound decisive.What iswrongwith me?

“Will do.”

I should kiss him. He isn’t leaving. We literally dry humped last night, and he isn’t making a move to kiss me. But he’s also not turning to leave. So…what now?

“Okay!” I force a smile and a laugh, and go up on my toes to peck him on the cheek.

It’s awkward as hell. He pats my side stiffly, and I back away as quick as I can.

“Talk to you later,” I manage, then turn to get in my Jeep. It must be the signal he needs, because he makes his way across the empty lot to his truck.

I pull my phone out and pretend it’s the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen, desperate for him to leave. Finally, he exits the lot. I lower my head to the steering wheel and bang it.

Despite the hellscape that was our goodbye scene back there, I’ve just gotten everything I ever wanted. Right? Basically, I think I have?

But if that’s true, then can someone please explain to me why I thought it was a good idea to suggest we basically be each other’s dirty little secret?

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