Page 38 of Fore-Ever Yours

I needed a break from Beth, and here she is, getting all my deep, dark secrets. She gets up from the floor and sits on the couch next to me.

“You share the same smile,” Beth says softly.

“Everyone says I look like my mom.”

“I mean your dad.” She turns the photo album toward me. It’s a picture of my dad and me at a tournament in my junior year of high school. “It’s a kind smile, warm. Just like yours.”

The unexpected compliment leaves a warm sensation in my chest. “He always had a smile on his face, no matter what. He was a good man.”

“He must’ve been very proud of you,” she says, looking down at the photograph. “I’m sorry for your loss, Matthew.”

I swallow hard against the lump forming in my throat. She leans her head against my chest, and I drop my hand to her shoulder. “Thanks.”

Her head on me feels so normal, comforting, yet I know I should be putting emotional and physical distance between us. But there’s this push and pull effect. Every time I try to push her away, it’s like it actually brings her closer to me.

“I think he would have adored you,” I say softly, words slipping out before I can stop them.

Beth looks up at me, her emerald green eyes filled with surprise. “He would have?”

“You’re everything he encouraged me to find. Kindness, strength, intelligence…honesty. And you can actually put up with me,” I add with a grin.

Beth rolls her eyes, but there’s a warm blush creeping up her neck that tells me she appreciates the compliment. She opens her mouth to respond, but Alison bounces back into the room.

“Dinner’s ready!” she announces gleefully then disappears.

Alison shares more than she should, per usual, which has Beth laughing so hard she almost chokes on her food. I could defend myself or ask Alison to stop, but I’m willing to be the laughingstock at the expense of hearing her laugh and seeing her face light up.

After clearing the table, I step outside into the backyard. I sigh as I rest my hands on the patio railing and stare at the sunset.

I’m not doing a very good job keeping Beth at a distance. Bringing her here isn’t helping either. But what was I supposed to do? Leave her at the hotel? Right…because coming home and leaving my girlfriend at the hotel wouldn’t be suspicious. Not visit my family? That wasn’t an option either. So I’m just torturing myself for the good of keeping up this image of the happy couple, Betthew.

“Everything okay?” Alison’s voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I nod, trying to hide my feelings behind a fake smile.

“Yeah…just thinking about the tournament,” I lie smoothly, masking my inner turmoil with a casual smile.

“Sure you were,” she teases. “I bet you were thinking about your girlfriend,” she sings.

I shake my head and chuckle.

“Beth is fantastic,” she says.

“Yeah, she is.” My gaze is fixed on the fading sun.

“She’s good for you. She makes you…light. Mom and I were talking, and we haven’t seen you smile or laugh like this since…well, since before Dad passed away.”

I’m silent for a moment, my mind racing. I wish I could just tell her it’s all a lie, but I can’t.

“It’s…complicated, Ali.”

She shakes her head at me. “Love is always complicated, Matty. It’s taking a risk and a leap of faith with another person and hoping they won’t let you fall.”

Her words hit me hard, either because they’re true or they’re coming from my seventeen-year-old sister. Or both.

“Do you remember what Dad used to say?”

I chuckle at her question. “Which one are you referring to? He was a man of many words.”

“Unlike someone I know…” She nudges me playfully. “He said that love was never about the guarantee of forever, but it’s worth the risk of losing. And that you should never let the fear of loss keep you from loving at all.”

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