Page 37 of Always Knew It Was You

My eyes follow her as she starts down the aisle toward the seats on the left.

Customary monogrammed cashmere blankets are folded on the seats and Carly takes one as she sits by the windows. She giggles to herself and then immediately starts fiddling with the seatbelts trying to hook it on.

“You don’t have to put that on right now,” I tell her, smiling.

“Oh.” She blushes. “Sorry. I’ve never been on a plane before,” she admits as I settle beside her. “I always hear people complaining about the legroom, but either it’s not as bad as I thought it would be or I’m really short.”

“More like this isn’t indicative of most planes. Economy class does indeed have shitty legroom.” Not that I would know. I’ve never flown economy in my life.

As we settle down, one of the flight attendants, a blonde with her hair in a carefully coiffed bun at the back of her head strolls to us, her hands folded in front of her.

“Welcome aboard, sir, madam.” She gives a perfunctory smile and then continues, “The pilot has indicated we can take off in fifteen minutes. In the meantime, is there anything you would like to eat? Drink? We have champagne and several types of wine, and we can also order directly from the airport if you would like.”

When Carly’s eyes travel to me, I remain silent, letting her decide.

“Ugh, sure, I guess wine would be okay,” she says.

“Eh!” I make the sound of a buzzer, making both women start. “Wrong answer.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t just ask for wine,” I tell her. “That indicates a lack of education on the subject. You have to be more specific.”

Carly raises her eyebrow. “But I am uneducated on the subject. Wine is just wine to me.”

“Yeah, but you can’t show that. Especially not in front of my grandfather.” I sigh, anticipating that this is going to be harder than I thought. “Listen, there’s several intricacies and subtext behind certain wine options and your choice says about you. If you were indeed a wealthy socialite, this is probably something you would have been taught in any etiquette class or prep school you attended. And so it’s something Grandpa’s going to expect you to know.”

“Okay. So what do I say?”

“Well, it depends. What do you like to drink? Tart, sweet, white, red?”

“I guess sweet and white is fine.”

“So a chardonnay?”

“Sure.” She turns back to the flight attendant. “I would like a chardonnay, please.”

“Eh!” I buzz loudly again. “Wrong choice again. Chardonnay is too common, plebeian even. No respectable high-society lady drinks that, because it’s what wannabe’s order. Plus, that shit’s disgusting. “

The flight attendant snorts and Carly rolls her eyes, clearly starting to get annoyed. “Then why did you even suggest it?”

“That, my dear, is what we call classic misdirection. Or a trick question. You’ll have to get used to it because my grandfather is the king of that.”

She sighs. “Okay, I’ll get used to it later, but for now, can you just tell me what wine to order?”

I think about it. “Get the Montrachet. Not too sweet, and just refined enough to suit the taste buds. Not trendy and most importantly, not disgusting.”

She nods and then turns to the flight attendant. “I guess I would like Montrachet please.”

“That’s not how you say it,” I say and nearly see the vein tick at the side of her forehead. “Montrachet. You have to sound more dignified, more… snooty. Otherwise, they’ll know instantly you’re not who you say you are. Certain places may not even serve you if you don’t have the right accent. Remember the shopping scene inPretty Woman? When the shop attendants were mean to Julia Roberts and she came back and bought the whole place up as a result?”

“That’s not what happened.” Carly frowns. “She went shopping elsewhere, then came back and rubbed it in their face.”

“Aha!” I point. “So you have watched it! And you must have enjoyed it to remember a detail like that.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t enjoy it, I said it was overrated and unrealistic.”

I scowl. “You’re overrated and unrealistic.” Not the most mature answer, but I don’t like hearing one of my childhood classics maligned like that.

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