“No,” Declan smirks at me. “I would have done a lot worse.”
“Is Carly alright?’ Amelia asks, and I nod.
“She’s fine. She was pissed at me but we’ve made up now.” I grin to myself thinking,Boy did we make up.
“Was Emma mad that I got her place wrecked?” I ask. “I can pay for all the damages if that makes it any better.”
“Nah.” Declan waves a hand. “They’ve got insurance. Besides, she wasn’t actually mad. She just thought the whole thing was funny. Carly on the other hand was mortified.” Declan eyes me for a few seconds, as though deeply considering the words he’s about to say. He even goes to pour a coffee for himself from a coffeemaker before he can speak.
“So this thing with you and Carl,” he ventures, “it’s getting serious, isn’t it?”
I cock an eyebrow. Even though Carly and I talked about our relationship last night and this morning, I don’t feel comfortable discussing it yet. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m not ready to accept all that quite yet, because it just feels so huge. Maybe I don’t want to jinx it when it’s so new and tentative.
I never thought I would be in a relationship, a real one that is. I always figured that I would either be a scoundrel for the rest of my life, or I would do what my dad did and settle for some type of arranged marriage where we lived in different houses and barely tolerated each other.
A part of me is scared that I’m misreading my own feelings and I’m leading Carly on.
I’m scared I’m going to fuck up.
“I guess,” I say to Declan and he frowns at me. That clearly isn’t the answer he’s looking for.
“You guess?”
I shrug. “I still don’t know yet. But I do care about her.”
His frown deepens and I can’t resist joking. “Is this the part where you play protective brother-in-law and tell me to stay away from her?”
Declan hesitates. “I was going to but now I’m not so sure.” He cocks his head. “So what do you feel for her?”
Sigh. He really is going to make me talk about this, isn’t he?
“I care about her,” I admit. “A lot. But love... I don’t even know what that is.”
Declan nods like he understands. He takes a sip of his coffee, grimacing slightly.
“I didn’t know I was falling in love with Emma either.” He gives the window a nostalgic look. “Didn’t know what love was until she tried to break up with me and suddenly it was like my world came crashing down. I couldn’t eat or sleep or breathe without her.” He smiles a little. “Still didn’t figure it was love until it knocked me over the head.”
“Gross,” Amelia says. “If you guys are gonna talk about this stuff don’t do it in front of me. I’m a kid.”
“Yeah, a kid with a secret online boyfriend,” I tease and she blushes.
“He’s not my boyfriend. We’re just solving mysteries together.”
“That’s how all the best love stories start,” I say, and she makes a face.
“How was jail?” she asks and I have a feeling she’s eager for some cool stories full of violence and turf wars and people getting shivved with sharp spoons.
I want to give it to her, just to raise my street cred a little more, but Declan shoots me a warning look.
I sigh.
“Don’t ever end up there,” I tell her. “It smells like piss and donuts.”
Declan’s words about love stick with me even after our meeting and after I go pick Carly up from school.
We go for a walk and have lunch by the lake. And then we go home to take a nap. We do plain old relationship stuff but for some reason it’s never boring. I can’t be bored with her.
It’s a nice, relaxing day.