Page 85 of Ordinary Secrets

I wish I could sense her. I wish I could feel everything she’s feeling right now. I want to know how good it is for herwithout having to focus on her moans and watch her every move. Without my gift, I’m constantly second-guessing myself.

I keep asking for verbal confirmation. “How’s that, baby? Do you like it better like this? Want it harder?”

Her answers come out in breathy yeses and a guttural “Just keep going.”

I do. I lick and suck her clit until she cries out my name, and I watch her fall apart with a scream. I don’t even know she’s coming until I see it on her face. I’ve never not known before. Every time I’ve made a woman orgasm, I could always sense it building inside her.

Not sensing Arella’s climax but seeing it happen is surprisingly still as hot. Maybe a little hotter, because now, I know I can do that to a woman without the help of my gift. Plus, it’s Arella. She’s the hottest woman I know. My mind can’t even comprehend it because she’s an Ordi. I shouldn’t be this attracted to her, yet here I am, craving to kiss every part of her body.

Lately, Arella’s been consuming my thoughts. She’s the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I fall asleep. During the long boring hours when I’m not with her, I wish I were, and it’s not because Ishouldbe for the mission. I just miss her company. Her presence eases me in ways I can’t explain.

When I feel anxious, her touch settles it. If a bad memory creeps through my mind, her smile erases it. I always feel lonely in my big empty house, but when she’s around, my house feels full and lively.

When I’m with her, I don’t feel like I have to put on a show like I do with other people. I don’t have to act tough or pretend like I know everything, because Arella’s not the type who likes that shit. Around her, I can simply be me.

I told her that I saw my parents get blown up, and not once did she give me a look of pity. I like how she treats me like I’m strong instead of someone who needs to be fixed. I know I need fixing. Liz has made that clear. The difference is that Arella seems to be fixing me without making me feel like I’m broken. She’s doing it simply by the way she laughs at my lame jokes and the way she spends time with me without expecting anything in return.

Not sex.

Not money.

Not a performance.

Not a “better version of me” that she knows “exists under the fistfights.”

Arella just wants me, and that seems to be enough for her. I’ve never had that before.

“Your turn,” she says, still panting from her climax.

I chuckle, then hop off the bed in search of my shirt. I find it on the floor across her bedroom and slip it over my head.

Arella dips her eyebrows at me. “What?”

“What, what?”

“I said it’s your turn.”

I give her a firm shake of my head. “Don’t think so, babe.”

“Why not?”

“Are you ready for me to be inside you?”

The way she hesitates tells me all I need to know. “We don’t have to do that. I can just do to you what you did to me.”

“Nope. Can’t. Thanks for the offer though.” I can’t remember the last time I turned down a blow job—don’t think I ever have.

She side-eyes me, smirking. “Are you afraid that I’ll see how small you are and break up with you?”

I let out a loudha!and laugh deep from my chest. “Is that what you think?”

“Why else would a man who’s had a plethora of one-night stands refuse to let me into his pants three weeks into the relationship?”

Three weeks? Is that it?It feels like I’ve been with her longer. She’s probably counting it from the night we made things official, not the day we met six weeks ago.

“Trust me, baby. I want nothing more than for your lips to be around my cock, but I can’t because it won’t be enough. I’ll want to fuck you properly, which means you’ll be sore and screaming my name. You’re not ready for that yet, so it’s better if we play it safe. I can take care of myself when I get home, where I won’t be tempted to cross any lines.”

She gets this look on her face that I don’t recognize. It’s a mix of astonishment and something else. Before I know it, she’s got me pinned to the bed and is attacking me with kisses. I’m a willing victim.

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