Page 93 of Ordinary Secrets

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

I can’t help myself. I seize her face and glue my mouth to hers. She doesn’t hesitate to kiss me back. For me, it’s more of a need than a want. It’s full of anxiety, and relief, and pain, and desire all at once.

I only let go of her when my stomach rumbles. The whole hospital fiasco took several hours. I haven’t eaten a single thing. Neither has Arella.

With her hand in mine, I lead her to the kitchen. She sits silently at the island while I whip up something for us to eat.

Ten minutes later, I place two plates onto the counter. They’re full of pancakes, bacon, eggs, and some fresh-cut strawberries. I inhale my food like a starving animal.

I’m almost done when Arella speaks again.

“This was the first meal we ever had together. Breakfast. Right here.”

That day feels like forever ago. So much has changed since the moment I met this puzzling brunette on the side of a highway. In only six and a half weeks, I’ve grown to adore this woman. I care more about her than I do my own limbs.

Like an annoying little alarm, my brain chimes in to remind me how ridiculous it is that I feel this way about her. It keeps reminding me that what we have is wrong. My heart though... It tells me that Arella is right. She’s everything I want and need in ways I never imagined could exist. She understands me in ways even Liz doesn’t. She doesn’t make me feel like I have to fake happiness either. With her, I am genuinely happy.

I know this relationship isn’t sustainable, but when it comes down to it, when my mission ends, can I really just walk away?

I already know the answer to that without having to think about it.

It’s hitting me now that I haven’t been actively trying to complete my mission for a while. The more time I spend with Arella, the less I’ve been asking to meet her grandparents. I haven’t been pursuing answers about her parents, her genetics, or anything else either.

Maybe subconsciously, I haven’t wanted my mission to end. This incomplete assignment is the only reason I have to stay with her. Until I find a better one, I’m gonna cling onto that for as long as possible.

During lunch the next day,I tell yet another lie.

“The doctor said you can’t go to work for a week.” Yeah, I’m a piece of shit, but I’m not ready for Arella to leave my side yet.What if something happens? I can’t protect her if I’m not near her.

“I can’t miss work for that long,” she says defiantly.

“Doctor’s orders. You’re in recovery.”

For the next twenty minutes, Arella argues with me about being “fine” and how she “can’t go that long without getting a paycheck.” The more I offer to help her, the more she argues with me. I can’t comprehend it. Jess and just about any other woman I know would love to hear that I’ll pay for anything she wants for the rest of her life. When Arella says something about wanting to be able to buy things without having to ask me, I offer to transfer her ten thousand dollars. She still says no.Seriously?

“You can buy whatever you want, babe. No need to tell me what it’s for, and no need to pay me back. Whenever you run out, just let me know, and I’ll transfer you more.”

She groans, throwing her head back. “You don’t get it.”

I raise my arms up and drop them to my sides. “You’re right. I don’t. It still doesn’t change that the doctor said you can’t go to work for a week.”

Eventually, she stomps away to call her bosses.

When she comes back, I’m in the middle of loading the dishwasher.

“My nanny family is going to get a backup nanny lined up. As for the daycare, my director is not happy. We’re already short-staffed, and she thinks I made up the whole spider thing.”

I shrug as I insert a dirty plate into the dishwasher. “Fuck her.”

Arella glowers at me, crossing her arms over her luscious breasts. She’s braless, and I’ve been staring at her nipples peeking out of my T-shirt all morning.

I feign innocence. “What?”

“Have you ever had a job?”

“I once worked on a cruise ship as a musician.”

She rolls her eyes. “Like anormaljob.”

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