Page 62 of Ordinary Secrets

When I can’t take the silent treatment anymore, I say, “Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad, T. I’m disappointed.”

“Goddammit, Liz. I’d rather you be mad.” Even though she is three years younger than me, Liz is obviously the more mature one in this relationship.

“I’m disappointed because you were going so strong. It’s been, what, two years since you got into a fight?”

“I had a justified reason this time.” The reasons I fought before weren’t justified in Liz’s eyes. I, for damn sure, think they were justified.

She stops applying the makeup to lean back and scowl at me. “Were any drugs or alcohol involved with this one?”

“Nope. I was completely sober last night,” I say proudly, like I should receive a gold medal for not shooting poison up my bloodstream anymore. “I was at dinner with you right beforehand.”

“Did you try sleeping to speed up the healing process?”

“No.” Zordi bodies naturally heal faster than Ordinary bodies, and even faster when we sleep. If I had slept last night, I probably would have woken up with a clear face. Unfortunately, my adrenaline was still pumping after I left Arella’s apartment, so I couldn’t sleep at all. It wasn’t my night to, anyway.

Liz resumes covering up my bruise. “It doesn’t look like you drank any Healing Water either.”

“I didn’t.” I used my last bottle of Healing Water on Arella the night she was drugged—something I can’t tell Liz. Using Zordi products on an Ordi is just another thing she’ll scold me for.

“Don’t you find it ironic that you’re the son of the inventors of healing products but you had none when you needed it?”

“Sure.” I wince when she presses a makeup sponge a little too hard against my cheek. I think she’s doing it on purpose.

Liz yawns, covering her mouth with a hand. “So, what was this fight about?”

“Arella’s ex-boyfriend attacked her.”

With a gasp, Liz stops what she’s doing. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah. She’s a really strong person. Probably as strong as you.”

My compliment works to ease Liz, because she’s gentler with me as she pats some powdery stuff onto my face. “I’ve been thinking about you and Ari. Or Arella, as you call her.”

I’m not sure why, but my heart rate kicks up a notch. “Okay?”

“I’ve been thinking about how perfect she is for you, except that she’s an Ordi, of course.”

Of all the things Liz could have said, I wouldn’t have guessed it’d be that. “Perfect for me? How so?”

She leans back to look at me. “You really haven’t figured it out?”

My tone goes dry. “Enlighten me, Liz. I’m an Empath, not a Mind Reader.”

“Sometimes your gift makes it hard for you to know which of your emotions are real and which aren’t. For some strange reason, Ari’s invulnerable to our gifts. Whatever feelings you might have for her aren’t muddled by what you’d be sensing from her if you could. Ari could be the firstrealrelationship you ever have.”

“I have a real relationship with you, don’t I?”

Liz huffs. “You know what I mean. Like a realromanticrelationship. Not what we have.”

I swallow thickly. The idea of having arealrelationship, the kind ofrealLiz is referring to, makes my stomach churn. Especially if it’s with Arella. Not only is she an Ordinary; she’s just a mission. Once I get the information from her that I need, we’ll go our separate ways. I’ll move on to helping ZIRDA figure out how we can replicate her immunity and use it against the Royals. She’ll move on to having a real relationship with someone else. Someone who’s capable of having real relationships. Someone who actually deserves her.

Liz finishes with my face, then tosses everything back into her makeup bag. “Don’t you think thatmyfeelings for you play a big part in what our relationship has become? Don’t you think that because I care about you as much as I do that it makes you reciprocate it for me?”

I pause to think about that. I can’t say it does, and I can’t say it doesn’t. I adore Liz—more than I adore anyone else in this world. Actually, she’s the only person I adore at all. I would do anything for her. Do I only feel this way about her because she feels it for me? Would Liz and I be this close if I could separate my feelings from everyone else’s? I’d like to think the answer is yes, only because that means I have control over my decisions. I hate thinking that I’m living my life based on how other people’s feelings affect me.

Wait...What if that’s all my life has ever been? The last time I slept with Jess was because she projected her desires onto me. Would I have done it otherwise? Maybe this is why I jumped on the idea of starting a band with Kevin. When we met, he got excited about the possibility, so I did too. Maybe this is how I got roped into becoming Elliott’s mentor. Sharon brought up the idea of me mentoring a Deaf kid no one else wanted. She felt determined to include him, so I did too.

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