“My goodness, what are you doing here?” he asked. “Did we set a time? Do we…”
“Dad, you’ve caused damage,” Maddie began harshly, her arms crossed in front of her body. “It’s okay that you’ve given up on love, that you want to remain alone and only live half your life. But it’s not okay that Lucy wants to do the same because of you.”
Surprised, their father glanced from one daughter to the next. “I don’t understand. What is she talking about, Lucy?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
“Oh yes, you do!” Maddie snapped. “You’re angry at Dad—rightly so! You let him influence your life—wrongly so. So, what the hell, Lucy, ask him what you want to ask. Tell him what you need to say. I do it every day and he hasn’t had a heart attack yet.”
Her father frowned. “Lucy? What’s wrong?”
Lucy stuffed her hands into her skirt pockets, sniffed, and inhaled shakily. Maddie was right. It didn’t help to handle her father with kid gloves. And she needed to ask him.
“Dad… Would you undo it, if you could? Your time with Mom?” she asked in a thin voice. “Because you would feel better today? Would you have…found someone else? If you’d known she was going to die too soon?”
“What?” His eyes widened. “No, Lucy. Never. You can’t just replace people.”
“But…”
“No,” he repeated. “Lucy. For God’s sake. We meet so few people who are just right for us, who make us feel more than we ever thought possible. When we stumble upon that person, someone we miss even when they’re sitting in the next room, who makes us feel safe even when we’re hanging off a cliff…then we should hold onto them. Because who knows if we’ll ever meet someone like them again?”
“But…if we meet someone like that, how can we not…” She stopped because she couldn’t say the words. They were too brutal.
“…end up like you,” Maddie replied tersely. “So, Dad, that’s what she’s afraid of. That she’ll get involved with a terrific man and then not be able to live without him.”
“Oh dear.” His old face suddenly seemed even more sunken as he dropped into one of the kitchen chairs. “Lucy, you can’t generalize like that. Every relationship is different. Every person is different. And you…you’re not me.” He swallowed but looked up straight into her eyes. “I understand you’re scared. I was scared too about getting involved with someone. Someone you can’t control, who you just have to trust. But it’s worth it, even though, looking at me, it doesn’t seem that way.” He cleared his throat and clasped his hands together so tightly his knuckles turned white. “Your mother gave me so much. I never laughed as much with anyone as I did with her. I never had as much confidence with anyone. I spent the happiest years of my life with her. Not to mention, she gave me you, didn’t she?” He smiled shakily up at them. “You wonderful girls who are so much smarter and stronger than I am. Thank God.” He pressed his lips together briefly. “So how could I regret a second of the past decades just because I’m suffering now? It’s okay that I do. It only seems fair to me, in return for all the happiness I’ve experienced. You don’t have to feel bad about it. I would never wantyouto suffer, just like your mother wouldn’t have wanted you to. So, Lucy, no, I don’t regret anything. I wouldn’t change anything. And I’ve always been proud of the brave girls I’ve raised. Who aren’t afraid to chase their dreams.”
Lucy’s eyes burned mercilessly and she hastily swiped away a tear that had snuck out of the corner of her eye. Was that her? Brave and strong? She hadn’t felt like that, the last few days.
“He’s right,” Maddie murmured. She smiled at her, took her hand, and squeezed it. “You were always the bravest one of us all. You threw yourself into a male domain. You duel with 250-pound men every day…”
Lucy hiccupped and smiled. “I don’t duel with them.”
“Matt told me otherwise,” her sister said firmly. “Either way…you’re not Dad. Besides, you’re missing out if you let Dax go.”
“Wait, Dax?” Her father frowned. “That awful hockey player?”
“He’s not awful anymore, Dad,” Maddie said patiently. “You’re no longer up to date.”
Her father replied, but Lucy had stopped listening. In her mind, she repeated her father’s words. That he wouldn’t change anything. That those were the happiest years of his life. That she was stronger. Hadn’t she spent the last ten years of her life proving exactly that? That she was damn strong and wouldn’t be intimidated? Not by her teachers, not by stupid hockey players, and especially not by her own damn feelings?
“Shit,” she cursed softly and pressed her hands to her forehead. What had she done?
God, how could she have been such a scaredy-cat? She hurried out of the kitchen, down the hall, and outside as Maddie and her father continued to argue. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. Maddie was right, her father was right, and Dax was right. She had to make it up to him!
“Hello?”
“Leslie,” Lucy said, relieved. “I need to talk to you. Do you happen to have a free appointment tomorrow? First thing in the morning.”
“Um, of course,” her boss replied, surprised. “What is it about?”
“I need to talk to you…about some important paperwork,” she mumbled, taking a deep breath. “Okay?”
“All right. But, Lucy…”
“More tomorrow,” she said and hung up to make another call.
“Hello?”