“Um, well… yes. Yes, Virginia, there is an agenda!” Bobbi Jo jokes to a silent staff. “Hugo, if you could fire up the smart board for me, we’ll get into the objectives for today.”
I nod, looking over at the star of the hour. She’s chewing her lip hard, eyes on the table in front of her as Edgar whispers something into her hair. Her head shakes, and she shoos him away, picking up a pen to doodle in her open notebook. Sighing, I turn to the laptop and start plugging in the mess that Bobbi Jo’s made of her presentation into the viewer.
Looks like battle lines have been drawn at WHFS, and the students aren’t even in session yet.
I’m Not Pretty
After that clusterfuck meeting, I got the hell out of the building before any other founding family witches could track me down. Bobbi Jo made sure I had alarm codes and keys, which meant I could come back later when the dust settles. I collected Jekyll and Hyde from the playground, gave Kali and Hecate a pat, and jumped into the Impala so fast you’d think an assassin was on my tail.
My cats are hanging their heads out the window and letting out a loud ‘mow!’ when Eury swoops too close to the roof. They seem to have done okay in the companion play area where I left them… I’d like to imagine that Teddy’s dogs introduced them to the odd assortment of winged, furred, and scaled animals the staff left there while we attended the staff training. It gave me pause, though, because I don’t remember this many exotic animals hanging about the Hollow in public when I was growing up here. I don’t know whether this is a recent development or my wonky memory is playing tricks on me.
Either way, it’s common now, so much so that the school has a mini-daycare area to keep the animals from disrupting.
My phone buzzes on the seat and I turn on the text-to-voice feature, so it comes out of the speakers. Safety first and all the jazz, right? The electronic voice announces that there are incoming text messages and I brace myself. I left telling no one where I was going because I’m a grown assed woman and I don’t have to check in with anyone. That should go over well.
Message from Bully Asshole:Where are you, drugar?
Message from Cute Asshole:She doesn’t have to clock her movements with you, Boone.
Message from Doctor Asshole:Lucy’s right. Back off, Coach.
For the love of leather chaps, these men are going to be the death of me. What possessed me to come home to solve a mystery and instead get trapped between three dudes who are now obsessed with me?
Oh, yeah—dick, that’s what possessed me. That one’s all on me. More pleasantly so when their stupid mouths are occupied.
“Send reply: Little Wolfie’s right. I don’t have to tell anyone where I’m going and I don’t have a curfew, DAD.” I grin to myself, satisfied with my retort, until I hear the telltale sound of a ding.
Message from Bully Asshole:You’re welcome to call me Daddy any time you want, sugar.
Message from Cute Asshole:Don’t be gross. Sugarplum? I’ll smack him in the back of the head later.
Message from Doctor Asshole:I’m going to need front row seats tothatshow.
Jesus Christ and his merry band of groupies. I cannot with these guys.
“Send reply:Number one, in your dreams, Teddy. Number two, I’m headed to the farm to go riding. I’m going to work on the classroom stuff when the harpies have exited the building. A little warning might have beennice, Teddy!”
Before they can answer, the sound of Lucky the Leprechaun announces Saoirse’s incoming text. I set that a few years ago when we were drunk off our tits in Dubai and I’ve never changed it. Maybe if those idiots behave, I’ll set special tones for them, but to be honest, Seer’s the only person who stayed in my life long enough to have personalized ringtones.
Message from Cheeky Monkey:I’m havin’ a grand time at the house, Peanut! The feckin’ security guys are settin’ up yer cams and sensors and shite how you diagrammed them. They may be a wee bit annoyed with me watching them work, but a lass has got to eat, right?
I hope the team Jackson sent isn’t busy getting their dicks sucked by my BFF instead of installing my goddamned security system. If there’s a sensor out of place, I’m making Seer pay for the return visit. However, leaving her there instead of terrorizing the locals on her own or cackling during the staff meeting seemed like the better choice.
Message from Bully Asshole:Kali and Hecate are pouting because you left them behind. Come to think of it,I’mpouting. Just so you know.
I growl in frustration, and Jekyll pops his head in to glare at my phone like it offended him. Chuckling, I used my free hand to ruffle his fur. “I know, buddy. He’s still got splainin’ to do before his antics are cute again.”
“Mow!”
Message from Cute Asshole:Sugarplum, ignore him. The pregnant mares are getting a check-up. I’ll get finished in about a half hour. I can take Puck out for a spin and find you.
Wolfie’s horse is named Puck?
That sounds about as fitting as one can get without hitting a nail on the head. I smile despite myself because I’m developing a major soft spot for the easygoing vet. I intended to work out my frustration with the bitch squad by riding alone and moping, but I can’t seem to tell him no.
“Send reply:Sure, McDreamy. I’ll see you then. For the rest of you, I’m putting my texts on ‘do not disturb’ for a while. I need some time.”
I don’t wait for their responses; I click the slider to mute the chat group and close the window. Sighing, I turn on my Spotify and hit my bad ass bitch mix, grinning as Joan Jett blasts through the speakers. It’s not an inappropriate song at the moment. And I enjoy the thought of rolling up to the employee lot like a rock and roll princess in a muscle car. Especially if that dimwit is working in the office again.