My eyes widen with fear. Seer knows every inch of me, and whatever she created will be amazing, but I hate to imagine what she thinks is appropriate for a town like mine. “Um…” I fish for an answer, trying to work out what I should do. “Well, playsuits are bathroom unfriendly. So, how about the dress?”
Her smile widens into a beam, and my chest tightens. This is going to be a disaster. “Grand, Peanut.” She goes back to my face, humming under her breath as she picks up another palette. “I’ll just adjust this color and we’ll be ready soon.”
Oh, goody.
* * *
Pulling up to Main Street,I peer over at Seer. She’s goggling at the business names as she holds Jekyll and Hyde on her lap. The terror twins turn to me as I slide into a parking space. I can’t help but laugh as I shake my head. While I got my clothes on, Seer accepted my Amazon delivery and my companions are now wearing cat sunglasses and spiked collars. They seem to like them, though, so I guess I can’t complain.
I’ve officially become a crazy cat woman.
A loud honk followed by a screech and thump on the roof of my car jars me out of my thoughts. Speaking of crazy, there’s my other stalker making its presence known. “Watch thePaint, Eury!”
Seer laughs, squeezing the cats in her lap as they squirm. They can’t wait to be free, and the eagle flying behind us must irk them. “Aye, Peanut. Your bloody menagerie is feckin’ impatient.”
“They are,” I grumble. “Hopefully, the boys are less troublesome.” I grab my messenger bag, whistle for Jekyll and Hyde, and climb out of the Impala. It’s night, so I don’t have my glasses on, but the small-town twinkles in the moonlight like a Hallmark special.
“Or not, because I could get behind a bloody rager. It’s been forever since?—”
“Wedo nottalk about Thailand in front of the guys or in public, Saoirse Viola O’Flanagan!”
Pouting, she strides ahead of me, tossing her thick braid over her shoulder. “You aren’t a genteel petal, Peanut; don’t let this place make ye pull a beamer.”
I whisper to the cat on either side of me, “I think after banging three dudes in the first week I’m back, I have nothing left to worry about. What do you think?”
“Mow!” they reply, looking like punk rock kitties in the cat aviators they won’t allow anyone to remove.
“Agreed,” I murmur as we approach the door. Euryale swoops down, hovering behind Jekyll and Hyde as we wait for what appears to be a bouncer at the door to check Seer’s passport.
What the fuck is a liquor store doing with a bouncer at the door?
The beefy dude takes one glimpse of Seer, then me, and then the animals following me. Grunting, he arches his brow. “Not from around here, huh?”
I squint at him, trying to figure out why something about him is making my skin tight. “I just moved back. She’s an old friend from out of town. Are quizzes part of your job?”
Blinking at me for a moment, the guy pauses, then lets out a booming laugh that rattles the windows next to us. “Jolene Whitley!”
“Oi! Not chopped soddin’ liver,” Seer grumbles, cocking out her hip. “Part of the Peanut entourage, that’s me.”
“I-I’m sorry. I don’t remember you,” I confess, giving the beaming bear of a man a sheepish smile.
“Well,of course not! I hadn’t grown into my skin yet!” He laughs again, turning to holler behind him. “Boone! Jolene’s here!”
My eyes widen at Seer. “Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no no…”
Cackling, she pats Jekyll and Hyde on their heads to l reassure them. “Stop making sounds like a bloody Tikky Tok. Just because you haven’t ironed out your differences doesn’t mean he’s going to make a—” My friend stops talking—a minor miracle—when Edgar arrives to stand behind mystery mountain man. Her voice is a wisp of air as she mutters, “Holy feckin’ dildo gnomes.”
Turning bright red, I put my hands on my hips. “Teddy, I don’t know who this monster is, but I’m supposed to meet people inside. Can you get him to let me buy a vowel so I can go in?”
His perfect teeth shine as he grins, the fresh stubble on his chin enticing as hell. “Well, Tilly, I don’t know about that. You’ve been avoiding me. Can’t say as I’m inclined to do you a favor.”
Euryale saves the day by swooping past, beelining for the boys since they’re the only people it knows. I smirk, tilting my head. “Pretty soon you’ll be obsolete, Teddy. Is that…familiar?”
The giant guffaws again, slapping my childhood—and current—nemesis on the back. “She’s afieryone now. You’re right, Boone—she grew up and got saucy.”
Looking bored, I study my nails. I realize the only way to deal with dick waving like this is to pretend that I’m not affected in the slightest. Men are the same whether they’re dictators, CEOs, bouncers, or hobos—they just want to swing their dicks around and have a woman coo. Not this girl, no matter how fucking hot Teddy looks or how built like a brick shithouse this dude is.
When I decide I’ve waited long enough to make them uncomfortable, I tilt my head and give them a disinterested expression. “Since you boys had your fun, does anyone want to tell me who the goat fucking hell he is?”