Page 30 of Home to the Hollow

Once I’m upright, the bird tilts its head toward me, looking puzzled. Yeah, no more than me, buddy. I swipe the screen open, watching the bird as my thumb scrolls to the number at the bottom. I added Wolfie last, and given he’s a vet, perhaps he will come rushing to my aid before I become this bird’s Happy Meal.

It rings for an interminable length of time before he picks up, his voice muffled in my pods. Whispering low, I say, “I have a situation. There’s a… very large, very hungry-looking bird in front of me. If it had scales, I’d swear it was a fucking pterodactyl. Can you help?”

There’s a pause, a shuffle, and his voice is low as he responds. “Well, sugarplum, you’re doing the right thing. It’s not an escapee from the dino park, but since I’m currently hanging out with our resident bird expert, you’re in luck.”

I blink. Whistler’s Hollow has a resident bird expert? What the fuckdoesn’tthis damned to—Suddenly, I remember the sexy shirtless dude that was removing a redbird from the crawl space.

Holy shit, he must be the bird expert.

Or should I say, Dr. Bird Expert?

Letting out a wispy chuckle, I pretend to smile at the bird, hoping it stays non-confrontational while I figure out what to do. “Um, so if Dr. McNuggets is there, could I turn on the camera and show you this thing?”

After a few laughs and some muffled sounds, Wolfie finally answers. “Of course, sugarplum! Presley says he’d be much obliged if you did.”

I take my eyes off the bird—who I decide to refer to as Euryale because if I end up having to speak to it, I’d prefer a name—to look at my screen. I swipe the video call on, looking down at the faces of the two thigh-quakingly hot dudes on the phone. They wave as if we’re having a grand safari, and I almost lose my temper. I don’t know what the doc sandwich is doing, but their cavalier attitude has my teeth on edge. Do they think I’m joking about the size of this monster?

“I’m flipping the camera now, you dipshits. Don’t look this excited when this thing rips out my innards.”

Before they can respond, I hit the camera switch button and slowly lift the phone towards the bird. Euryale just sits on the lounge it landed on, watching me as I move like I’m trying to slide under a laser beam.

“Holy fuck Jolene!”

The loud wail in my ears makes me wince and sweat slides down my spine. Are they activelytryingto get me killed? Hissing under my breath, I grind out, “What?”

Dr. McNuggies answers, his voice laced with awe. “That isnota pterodactyl. That is a harpy eagle. It’s one of the largest raptors in the world, and extremely far from home. Don’t scare it away!” I open my mouth to answer, but he cuts me off. “Get your shit on, Lucy! We’re gonna go see the coolest damned bird in theuniverseat Jolene’s!”

The phone clicks off, and my eyes widen.

Now I’m trapped with the largest dinosaur bird in the world—alone—waiting for two hot dudes to save me.

Could my life be normal for like… an hour?

Somethin’ to Talk About

“Then the wife of the British ambassador had to let us scramble into his jet and hop to Manila, and once we hit the Philippines, we decided to party in Hong Kong for a week or two. Luckily, the passports our employers brought usintoThailand on weren’t real, so they couldn’t trace us to China. It was acrazyweekend,” I finish, tossing a meat ball to the enormous bird.

Jekyll and Hyde burst out of the backdoor with them about fifteen minutes ago, and after much hissing, feather fluffing, and screeching, I got them all settled by feeding them. I didn’t know what else to do while I wait for the docs—a story seemed like the easiest way to keep the mood calm amongst the predators.

Euryale tosses its head as if disbelieving, and Jekyll gives a ‘mow’ in agreement.

When did I become the fucking wild animal whisperer?

Before this week, I’d never even owned a pet. That these guys have mysteriously appeared and taken a shine to me is as much a mystery as the rest of this damned place.

Car doors slam and all three of my guests whip their heads toward the front of the house as if they plan to attack in formation. I put my hand over my eyes to shield them from the waning light, squinting as I see Hottie McBabyVet and Dr. McNuggies tromping across my lawn hurriedly.

I snort, my expression full of sarcasm as they jog over. The danger has more than passed—if it hadn’t, I’d already be an eagle snack because fifteen minutes is a long-assed time in ‘cornered by a wild animal’ time. The cats and monster bird look at me curiously and I shrug. I don’t know why they think they’re white knights at this point.

“Ahoy, boys. Good thing Euryale here likes meatballs, and the cats can somehow use doorknobs. Your rescue took longer than expected.”

Wolfie flushes, rubbing the back of his neck, but Dr. McNuggies shrugs and tosses his own gauntlet back. “Given that I knew it wasn’t a dinosaur and Lucy here told me it’s not the first animal related scrape you’ve gotten into since moving back, I figured we could set reasonable rescue expectations.”

My jaw drops, and I narrow my eyes at him. This pompous ass just told me whatever they were doing was more important than my safety! I untuck my legs and flip to my feet with the grace of a fighter, stalking towards him slowly. “What, may I ask, was so important that the towndoctorsaw fit to sacrifice my body to finish?”

“Sugarplum…”

The doctor smirks, holding his hand up to my little vet. “Allow me, Lucy.”

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