Page 46 of La Dolce Vita

"Fucking!" Gianni shouted. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

The women froze. They looked to Gianni who grinned at them.

"Just ignore him, he won't say it again if we don't acknowledge it," Marietta whispered.

"Watch your mouth. I've told you a hundred times," Mirabella said.

"Sorry." Marietta gave her a sheepish grin. Gianni turned back to the cabinets he was digging through and brought out another pot.

"No. I'm not kidding," Mirabella continued. "Giovanni and Domi think I have PTSD."

"Did you tell them they are fuck--ah crazy? Wait? Do you think you have it?"

Mirabella smiled. "I don't have it."

"How can you be so sure?" Marietta asked.

"Clyde, our cousin, he had it. He did two tours in Vietnam. Even when I was a little girl I could see how the war had damaged him. I heard Granddaddy talking about the days when he came back. The screams, the violent attacks he did on his wife. They said that when he first came home, only Bessie-Mae could calm him down. And when she died it got worst. Once, Grandpa said it took six men from the church to hold him down when he lost control. And then the catatonic state he went into lasted so long they committed him for some time. There was a lot of medication and therapy to put Clyde back together again. He's still... different than most men. Minnie, however, keeps him straight."

"Well if you don't think you have it why see this doctor?"

"Because it's the only way Gio will let me see a doctor like this. I had a therapist in New York. I believe in therapy. Our husbands? Not so much."

"Yeah," Marietta nodded. "It's not their thing."

Mirabella smiled. "Ever think of seeing a therapist?"

"Me? Fuc-- a no! I'm fine. I don't need a doctor," Marietta tossed her chin up in a prideful shrug.

"Sometimes we go through things that are so hard and painful that we bury them deep inside," Mirabella pointed to her heart. "But we feel it here. Like a wound that never heals. I started to see a therapist when I first moved to New York because I arrived there with nothing and no one. I had lost my grandfather, and my ex-boyfriend was a complete psychopathic jackass..."

"Like Giovanni?" Marietta grinned.

Mirabella shot her the middle finger.

Marietta laughed.

"I was running from the mistakes I made in Apple Grove."

"What about all that family we got there? Didn't they try to help you?" Marietta asked.

Mirabella shook her head with heavy sadness. "Talking to someone professional helped me deal with my emotions. Fabiana was the one to make me see that being sad was just being in pain. She told me that if I wanted to be happy, then just decide to be happy." Mirabella smiled through fresh tears.

"That's right because Fabiana was a saint," Marietta mumbled.

"No, Marietta. She was flawed, she was human, and one of the most special friends I've ever had when nobody in the world believed in me. She accepted people for who they were. And she knew I had problems because she had some of her own. I got through it. I believe that talking to this therapist about Kei will help me too."

"Okay," Marietta shrugged. "If you say so."

"Maybe you can think about doing the same. You know? Seeing someone, to talk about your feelings about the baby and Lorenzo..."

"Girl, please stop. I told you already. I ain't seeing no damn loony tunes, doctor," Marietta got up from her seat and picked up Gianni who was banging pots against the floor. She put the toddler on her hip. "I'm probably the sanest person in this entire family. Seriously. If you want to talk to someone you can speak to me because I've seen it all, baby. Nothing shocks me. Ain't no reason why we should let some nosey ass doctor into our family business."

"After everything, your adoptive parents put you through. All the tough things you had to do to survive when you ran away. Are you saying that when you close your eyes at night, you don't relive those mistakes, that pain?" Mirabella asked.

Marietta stared her in the eye. "No. I'm not saying that. I got a lot of shit in my head I don't talk about."

"Head!" Gianni said.

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