Page 246 of La Dolce Vita

"So?"

"I don't know what happened. I can’t remember most of it."

"I'll tell you what happened. You attacked her. You threw her out of this family and your heart. For that girl, the sun rises and sets on your shoulders. You treated her like trash."

"I'll apologize."

"But will you mean it? That's the question, Giovanni. We are all the enemy now. Even me!" She dropped the container of dish detergent, and her hand trembles overcame her. Giovanni saw it. Damn it he saw it.

“Bella?”

Mirabella doubled over and burst into tears. She couldn’t help it. She felt like her body was caving in on her. He pulled her over to him and held her the way he normally did. And it helped. She clung to him until the panic attack lessened. But she was panting and sweating as if she ran a marathon.

“Calm. Be calm,” he told her.

“I’m so angry with you! You break my heart! Every time I think of what I saw you do to her… it scares me.”

“Don’t be. It’s okay,” he promised.

She clung to him, and her heart rate slowed. "But if you kill Lorenzo..."

“Listen to me Bella. Look at me.” He cupped her face. She gripped his sides. She looked up into his heart.

“Hang in there with me. Please. Trust me.”

“I’m going to lose you. I feel like I'm losing you. I need the man I can trust to be human, and to forgive us. To forgive himself. Where is he?"

“Look at me. I’m right here?”

She dropped her head onto his chest. “The anxiety is back. I thought I was cured. But its back.”

"Last night I scared you. I hurt you, and Catalina. Bella, look at me. I let you down. I’m sorry."

She shook her head. "Minne called Gio. Cutters dead." She looked up into his eyes to gauge his response. He looked as if she had said it was raining outside. No emotion."

"Did you kill him?" she asked.

"Yes. I killed him."

Mirabella bit back her tears. "He was nothing to me, Giovanni. Nothing. But you killed him, why?"

"I don't know. The thought of him, of you being in pain. It was a reflex reaction."

"Reflex? Your reflex is to kill?"

Giovanni didn't answer.

because he insulted you."

"The last time a stranger came between us, it was Kei, and you let that threat walk away. Now you're going to kill Lorenzo. He's your brother. I don't care how you see it; he's your brother. And you can't find an ounce of mercy in you for him. I saw how you looked at Catalina. You don't throw away the people you love!"

"I haven’t thrown away my love for you. It's all I'm surviving on now. All I have left."

She dropped her forehead on his chest. "I don't know what to do to help you Giovanni."

"Yesterday was my very worst. The very worst. Today I want to do better. But I can't do it without you. Come with me to find Domi. Help me,Bella. If you can't, then we don't have a marriage. I need you," he said and kissed her.

She stopped his passion. "Okay. Okay. I'm fine. I'm sorry too. I know what we are. What you are. I just. It's just sometimes... I don't know. It's too much at once, at times."

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