Page 77 of Redeemed

Dammit.

I roll over and close my eyes, doing my best to shut her out. I’ve already given in to her more than I’d like. I’mnotletting her out of the cage.

Xander is right. It’s where she belongs, whether she accepts it or not.

Xander

LucasandItakeseparate rooms. I don’t like it, knowing we’re sleeping under the same roof but not together. It’s not just a physical wall that separates us, and my strongest instinct is to rip it down until it’s nothing but rubble and dust.

And that’s why I find myself leaning against the doorframe to his room while Lucas quietly undresses. He hasn’t noticed me yet, and there’s something about watching him like this that makes me feel like I’m catching a glimpse of the real him. No walls, no need to keep his emotions under lock and key.

Just Lucas.

He’s more introspective than I am—smarter, too. Add in all the shit his dad put him through as a kid, and it’s no wonder he’s turned out the way he has.

In his eyes, tarnished.

In mine, perfect.

When Lucas notices me, he sighs and turns around to face me. He’s only wearing his black sweatpants, and the tattoos that cover his bare chest and back are all beautifully on display. My boy is so fucking hot, and he refuses to believe it.

“What do you want?” Lucas asks gruffly—something I can predict with one-hundred percent accuracy that he’ll apologize for in the morning. He’s standing stone still, his shirt balled up in his hands.

“Talk to me,” I say softly.

I may not look like the emotionally available type. Hell, I’m usually not, but Lucas has always been the exception to my every rule.

“Do we have to do this right now?Here?”

Crossing my arms, I try to figure out a way to get through to him. I’m not sure what exactly has him on edge. Colton knows what we are to each other, and I’m pretty sure Haven figured it out freshman year. Besides, Lucas doesn’t feel a need to hide—not from anyone but himself. And, on nights like this, me. Maybe he just needs space.

I fucking hate that.

“We don’t, no,” I say with a heavy sigh.

“Good, because I’m fine.”

He’s so visiblynotthat it’s almost funny. Tension lines his large shoulders, the thick muscles taut under his light skin. There’s a line between his eyebrows from frowning so hard.

“How many times do I have to tell you that youreallyneed to stop lying to yourself?”

He runs his hands through his brown hair, and my eyes are drawn to the way his muscles ripple at the movement. God, his body is perfect. He’s a fucking powerhouse, and he’s all mine.

Except in moments like these.

“I don’t like her being here,” he blurts, and then he immediately starts pacing. “I know Colton had talked about doing something like this, but that’s all it was. Talk. And now she’s here, and it’s going to fuck everything up. I can feel it, Xan.”

Ah.

That’s the thing about Lucas. He needs things to be predictable. Slow. Planned.

“It took me by surprise, too.”

“Yeah, but you can handle this shit. I…” He throws his hands up in the air. “I fucking can’t.”

“Hey.” I move closer, and when he doesn’t back away, I place a hand on his arm. “We’re gonna be okay.”

“I hate her,” he grits out. “I want to wrap my hands around her tiny neck and—”

---