Page 108 of Redeemed

Upstairs, I strip and step into the steaming shower. Water pours over me, washing away the sweat from my workout. Being locked up in my room gives me the space from Haven that I need. Spending hours today shopping for her meant she was constantly in my head. I even threw extra things into our cart that weren’t on her list, simply because I thought she’d like them.

Now, remembering I did that pisses me off even more.

When I step out of the bathroom, Xander is sitting on my bed. He watches me with a knowing look as I rub lotion into my skin.

“Want me to get your back?” he asks.

“Sure,” I mumble.

His hands are gentle as he spreads the lotion over my skin. Even with how frustrated I am, I feel myself relaxing at his touch. It’s been this way for as long as I can remember. No matter how horrible things were, being around Xander calmed me. He was my escape when I didn’t have one.

“I know this is hard for you,” he says, his voice quiet.

Sighing, I step away and grab a clean pair of briefs and sweatpants. “I’m tired, and I’m… god, I’m so angry.”

“I know. I’m angry at her, too.”

“No, it—it’sconsumingme.” Even though it goes against all my instincts, I turn to look at him. Facing Xander is like cutting open my chest and giving him access to all of me, even the ugly parts. He can see every thought, every worry, every emotion.

“You’re not him, Luc.”

“Not yet.”

“No.”Xander steps up to me, his expression hard. This time, when he grabs my shoulders, his touch isn’t gentle. It’s firm. Desperate. “You’renothinglike your father.”

“That’s not true, and you know it. I’mso angry,Xander. That’s all he was, and it’s exactly what I’m becoming.”

“What matters is what you do with that anger.” He shakes me. “You don’t resort to physical violence. You don’t push your wife around and leave your kid covered in bruises. You don’t cheat. You know how to stay in control.”

“What if he used to tell himself that? What if—”

“That’s a pointless question to ask,” Xander says flatly.

“But what if—”

“Stop, Lucas,” he snaps, and the frustration in his voice gets me to shut my mouth. “I knew him, and I know you. You arenotturning into him, and if you ever start to, I’ll put a stop to it immediately. You have my word on that.”

My shoulders sag. “I know.”

“You just need a few days to even out. This is a big change. Having her so close is nerve-wracking for all of us.”

“I feel like I’m gonna explode,” I mutter tiredly.

“I know. I’m right there with you.”

Sighing, I lean my forehead against his. We lapse into silence. Xander places a hand over my heart, and after a minute, our breaths sync up. I used to do the same thing to Haven to stave off her panic attacks. Sometimes, all she needed was someone steady and calm to remind her that she was safe and protected.

“Dinner is in the oven,” Xander says right before kissing me. “I should go check on it.”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “I guess I should head down, too.”

His hand slides into mine, and he leads me downstairs. We both remain silent, but he doesn’t have to say anything for me to feel his support. Xander has my back.

He always has.

Once dinner is ready, we all eat at the table—even Haven. She’s oddly quiet, and she keeps her eyes locked on her plate the entire time. I was expecting some level of bitching from her, but whatever Colton did to her today must’ve tamed her some.

She’s not broken yet—she’s stronger than that—but I can’t deny how satisfying it is to see immediate progress like this.

---