Page 81 of Seek Me Darling

God, just hearing her voice almost breaks something in me.

Her sigh on the line is like a warm breeze, brushing against the jagged edges of my nerves.

“You okay?” she asks.

The question cuts. I want to say no. Want to screamI’m chained in hell and I don’t know who I am anymore and everything’s on fire inside me and I think I might like it—but my mouth won’t cooperate.

I stare up at Rule’s mask, his breath just barely audible above me, his arms braced like he owns this fucking space.

I swallow hard, forcing something thatmightpass for a laugh out of my throat.. “I was about to ask you the same thing.”

My voice sounds almost normal.Almost.

But I don’t answer her question.

And neither does she.

Typical.

We sit in silence, this heavy, awful silence full of everything we aren’t saying.

Then I break it.

“Please make sure you’re being careful,” I say, the words a brittle whisper. “Look after yourself first. What you’re doing there comes second, remember?”

My voice cracks a little at the end.

And Rule’s breath flares against my skin.

The silence on the other end turns heavy. I know what Hydessa’s thinking. She knows me. She knows Idon’tsay things like that. I’m the one who charges in head-first, tells her to run toward the fire, to not waste time worrying.

But now I’m here, wrapped in invisible barbed wire, and all I want is for her to be safe.

She doesn’t press. Not yet. But I can hear it. The tension tightening her voice, the inhale before the question—

I beat her to it.

“I’m sorry,” I say, cutting her off before she can dig. “I have to go. I love you.”

There’s a beat.

“I love you too,” she says, and then the line goes dead.

Silence falls again.

The screen goes black.

And I just sit there.

My hair a mess, the faint streaks of blood still smeared on my thighs, the necklace locked around my neck, and not sure what the fuck I’m doing anymore.

Rule straightens slowly, gaze still fixed on me through those unreadable lenses.

The phone slides from my fingers to the counter, and I feel like I’ve been gutted.

Because I didn’t say the code words.

I could’ve.

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