Page 97 of The Order

I look around at our quiet home, glancing at my sister's door. My legs move quicker than my mind, urging me closer to the one person in my family who wants nothing more than to be alone. My hand hovers on the handle, unsure if I am ready to face her.

“Come in,” I hear her voice say from the other side, less aggravated than the side of her I saw moments ago.

Slowly, I open the door, meeting the figure of my sister perched on the edge of her bed, holding her hands in her hair out of pure frustration. Her dresser is a mess. Everything is knocked over, spilled onto the floor. Her hands shake as they entwine with her locks. Her bag is filled to the brim with items, all things she would never traditionally carry around. Her green eyes pull up from their downward position, clouded with tears threatening to spill over.

“Mom was a mess,” I say, inviting myself to join her on her bed. Her clock is unplugged from the wall and, to my surprise, missing several cables.

“Mom’s working for bad people,” my sister whispers, furthering my suspicions that there is more going on than she's willing to share.

“Mom works forourpeople,” I say, watching my sister give me a longing look.

“Do you believe this is all me, Kai? Or can you feel deep down that maybe something is wrong? Does nothing feel off to you?” she pushes, pressing her hand to my chest.

Ever since the night of the movie screening, nothing has felt quite right. It's like my sister is slowly fading in front of me, becoming a version of herself that knows too much but can say so little. In fleeting moments, I feel what she speaks of. The feeling that something is wrong.

“What haven’t you told me?” I question.

She slides away from the bed, pacing back and forth in frustration.

“We all smile and laugh, eating every single lie our superiors tell us, but is that truly what our people want to do? Or were they forced to? Does anything feel like your choice?” she questions.

I draw more blanks, unsure why I cannot give her a clear answer. It should be obvious. The yes should come so quickly. Has everything been my choice? She pushes back on the rules of New Haven so often, like it’s impossible for her to see the good here.

“I need more if you want me to answer that question,” I say, feeling her hands grasp the side of my face.

“I can’t tell you, Kai. You need to see it. You need to see everything while doing your best to convince them you are still naive,” she whispers, shifting her eyes from me to the small bag beside her nightstand.

It isn't just a bag of things. It's a bag to get her out of here.

“Fallan is the one Dad is meeting in the Unfortunate sector,” I piece together. “You weren't trying to push Mom away. You were making sure she and Max left so no one would follow you,” I whisper, watching all the emotion leave her face.

“I don't know what they will do to him, Kai,” she whispers, grasping the handle of her bag. “I'm not willing to stand by and find out,” she continues, rising to her feet. “I won't let you stop me,” she says, fidgeting with an ID I know is not hers.

“Why?” I question.

Her green eyes only seem that much more tormented at this moment.

“Why what?” she questions, hiking up the bag on her shoulder.

“Why go after him?” I question, genuinely seeking the truth.

“I don’t know why…. That's why I have to go,” she says, readying herself to move past me. I grab her bag, quickly deflecting the hit meant to release my grasp on her bag. I hold her fist, watching confusion take over her expression.

“I won’t stop you from going,” I start, lowering her fist back to her side. “On one condition,” I mutter, walking out of her room, feeling her trail behind me as I make my way to my own bedroom. My hands meet my closet door, pulling out my darkest hoodie and forcing it over my head. I raise the hood, finding another big enough to conceal her. My arm is stretched toward her, daring her to take it from me.

“And what's your condition?” she questions, grasping the extra hoodie.

I pause, running my finger along the scar behind my ear. The same scar she shares behind her ear. The scar that burns hot every time I’m near an Official.

“That you take me with you.”

Chapter thirty-one

Forest

Iliftuponthelatch to the window in my bathroom, forcing it open. It’s the only window in the house that won't signal our exit, buying us enough time to get across our sector and away from anyone who might try to stop us. Kai utilizes his knee to hoist me up, watching me swing my legs over the windowsill before I reachdown for my bag as he hands it up to me. I look at the drop and then use my arms to support my weight as I slowly lower my body over the edge and away from the side of the house.

My feet hit the ground with a thud, kicking up dirt. My hood is up, and my hair is twisted back into a braid. I look back and see Kai’s long legs draped over the side of the house, using the momentum from his fall to close the window, keeping his hood up like mine. I linger next to him, expecting him to call this whole thing off and turn around. He brushes his hands against his pants, ridding himself of the dust from the windowsill.

---