Page 91 of The Order

“I don't have a choice,” he begins, looking utterly broken.

I slowly nod my head, feeling a tear roll down my cheek.

“Then neither do I,” I whisper, hitting the device’s screen, watching him clutch his head, surging toward me. His hand grabs my wrist, forcing it down and onto the side table as he shoves away the device. I make eye contact with him, watching his chip blink in the same fashion mine had.

“That does not work as easily on us,” he says, grasping tightly around my wrist. I writhe away, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror closest to us. I half expect to see my flailing figure wrestling with my father, only to be startled by the image of myself standing still, watching me with a taunting gaze and unnerving smile.

“Well, if that won't work, I guess you'll just have to do it yourself,”my own voice taunts me. The mouth of my reflection in the mirror moves as mine stays still.

For reasons beyond my knowledge, I raise my hands to the sides of my dad’s head, grasping his temples once my back collides with the floor. I drag him down with me, feeling a surge of energy work through me as I visualize every incriminating thought he could have of me and Fallan being pulled away from his mind. His eyes close while he takes in a sharp breath. My palms feel hot and full of energy. I take in the space around me, glancing back at the mirror, which now reflects real-time.

“Forget all the treason you have seen. As far as you know, Fallan is harmless and nothing has changed,” I whisper, feeling my emotions well at the sight before me. I pull my lips closer to my dad’s ear, watching his motionless face absorb my commands.

“I'm sorry, Dad. Please, rest once I let you go, and don't wake up until I leave,” I mutter, feeling his body become slack as his energy leaves him. Slowly, I lean him into the nearest chair, forcing myself up and away from him as I take several sharp breaths. I make my way to the mirror to confront the looming presence that’s suffocating the space.

“Who are you?” I question in a slow gulp, leaning my head against the mirror and shutting my eyes afraid of what I'll find.

“I’m you,”it says, running its finger along the other side of the glass. “More specifically, the part of you that chip was hiding,”it says, giving me a sideways look.

“Why hide you?” I question.

“Oh, honey,”it says, giving me a wink.“It's so easy for them to call the better parts of our strength 'hallucinations.’ Makes it less real for them.”

My eyes open, leaving me in the middle of my father’s study. His body sleeps peacefully, still in the same position I had left him. The image in the mirror is normal, no longer jaded by a perception of myself that brings me unease. I look back at the file on my father’s computer, sliding into his seat as I rummage through his desk for a hard drive. I rapidly copy all the files, letting each upload to the small memory saver, glancing at the door every few seconds. Each file loads quickly, only to be removed from the computer moments later. I quickly scan each video, feeling increasingly uneasy each time I see Fallan and my face in the files. In some videos, we are speaking to one another. In others, we are separate. Years of our lives are in these files, some events more painful than the next. The dates were years ago. All moments void from my mind, and possibly his. My eyes land on the oldest file, fumbling to read its title.

“Forest/Fallan Expulsion Test,” I whisper, dragging the file to the hard drive and letting the cursor hover over the video.

Hesitantly, I ready myself to move it to the trash, wanting nothing more than to leave this space. I look back at my dad, tapping my fingers against his large desk.

“I need to remember,” I whisper, pulling myself away from the desk and deleting the last file before taking the hard drive. I move toward the door, passing my taunting reflection once more, stopping in my tracks.

“If you want answers, then we'd better start from the beginning,”the other me taunts, pressing its hand to the glass, watching me shove the hard drive deep into my pocket.

I glance at its hand, unsure of my best move.

“I don't bite. After all, I am you,”it whispers, motioning for me to touch the glass.

I stare at my eyes in the mirror, silently cursing, before pressing my palm into the glass, letting the shockwave of memories flood into me.

Chapter twenty-nine

Forest- Expulsion Test, 16 Years Ago

Iswingmylegsinthe chair, half expecting myself to be able to brush the floor. Kai is dead asleep on the chair next to me, leaning up against my father in a fatigued state. Only moments ago, had he finished his placement test, scoring as high as humanly possible, no doubt. My father nudges my head every so often, giving me soft smiles between responding to messages on his phone. I stare at the giant steel door, expecting it to swing open at any moment.

An Unfortunate woman sits to the left of us. Every so often, she looks at my father, giving him a confusing look. He only returns her gaze with a lowered head. Her hair is dark as night, and her eyes are as blue as an ocean. In many ways, she is very pretty for an Unfortunate, able to pass as one of us had she been given the proper clothing. She wears a gold ring around her wedding finger, its band made of twisting vines, creating a beautiful piece of jewelry.

She waits patiently, most likely for her child, no doubt.

“I’m thirsty,” I whisper to my dad, him only half paying attention to my statement.

“There's a water fountain just around the corner,” my father whispers, looking slightly startled once Kai decides to stir. “I can take you. Let me get your brother up.”

“No,” I say, stopping him from saying another word. “I can take myself,” I push, doing my best to sound as adult as possible. He gives me another smile, crossing his arms while he playfully taunts me.

“You sure you're up for it? Who's this 4th year that has replaced my little girl?” he questions, only making me giggle.

I hurry off my chair, giving him a slight bow as I walk away. He laughs at the exchange, only to glare at the woman beside us once I'm almost to the corner. I make eye contact with her, watching her express sadness before lowering her head. I follow the signs to the fountain, taking a sharp left, meeting the dead-end hallway with nothing but a door and the fountain. A sign above the door says, “Unfortunate Test Exit.” Taking three long gulps, I enjoy the water, not once noticing the sudden presence lurking nearby.

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