Page 67 of The Order

Unlike the pounding headaches that usually consume me, his presence in my mind is like a soft blanket, embracing me, holding my mind gently. I feel the moment the connection is cut, leaving me with nothing but the feeling of something else lurking in the depths of my mind, unable to find a way through.

This presence that hides is foreign, aware, and… angry.

“Are you okay? You were gone for a second,” Xavier says, pulling me back to reality with his gentle touch.

I nod, finally closing the space between us and allowing my back to turn toward him. Leaning into his chest, my legs stay straight in front of me along the bench. With my back pressed against his muscular chest, I can feel the outline of his sculpted body beneath his uniform's rugged material. His arms wrap around me, and I take in his scent. It’s like fresh laundry and pine, both creating a harmonious amalgamation that I can’t help but let consume my senses. His head rests above my own, wrapping me in warmth.

“What exactly is happening here, Forest?” he questions, leaning down next to my ear with a whisper that has my blood rushing. His lips tentatively graze over my neck, lingering for a moment as he taunts me. I can sense him smiling as he moves to rest his lips along my shoulder now, the potential of slow kisses along the rest of my skin in the air between us.

I let out a shaky breath, causing a low grunt of approval to leave his throat and I realize Xavier has me wrapped around his finger.

“I want to hold on to whatever this is. Let me hold onto it. It’s the only thing that gives me a moment of peace. That makes me feel normal. I’m consumed when I’m with you and crave this feeling when you're away,” I admit, unable to stop the noise that leaves my mouth once his lips finally decide to explore the soft skin of my neck again, kissing gently along its side, pressing down harder in the spots I’ve learned are overly sensitive to touch. It’s all I can do is suppress the noises of pleasure I’ve never heard leave me before. The sensation sends a wave of desire through me. His hand grasps my jaw, pulling me into his kisses.

“You’re not normal, Forest," Xavier says, placing my ear lobe between his teeth with a gentle bite. His free hand pulls me closer to him, my lower back brushing against his leg, and a part of him I’m suddenly very aware of, soothing a part of me that had wondered if I’m the only one feeling this way right now. “I think that's why I can’t seem to stay away,” he whispers, making the pool of heat between my legs grow immensely.

“You’re sticking around then? You don’t think I'm crazy?” I question, unable to fully control what I’m saying.

“I think you are exactly what you're supposed to be, and you can guarantee I’m not going anywhere,” Xavier whispers, turning my head over my shoulder. He finally makes eye contact, and I know he notices my fully flustered face.

I expect to see the flash of his canines as he smiles, ready to let it consume me.

Instead, he looks pained, holding his throat tightly—his chest heaves. Tiny beads of sweat collect on his forehead, rolling over his furrowed brows.

“What’s wrong-”

Once more, the tune plays in my head, the notes on the piano louder than before, pulling me away from this moment and even farther away from the words I tried to get out.

“Forest!” my brother's voice yells from a few feet away.

Xavier and I pull away, fixing our disheveled clothes as we get up from the bench. I watch Xavier grab his pant leg, adjusting the front of his black slacks, making us both grow red. My brother's tall figure spots us once we’re up, giving me a sigh of relief. We make eye contact above the hedge that has been shielding us from prying eyes. Kai stalks around the small wall of green, pausing to look between us.

“I was about to run a search party to find you,” Kai mutters, keeping his eyes on Xavier.

“She just needed some fresh air,” Xavier says, speaking as confidently as he always has, not letting the moment we just shared slip him up.

“With you?” Kai questions, clearly no longer speaking to me, as I sense his hostility growing towards Xavier.

“I didn't want to be in that horrid LED nightmare box any longer,” I say, stepping in front of Xavier to get a better look at my brother. He gives me a small nod, pulling me into a hug and propping his chin on the top of my head to get me as close to him as possible.

“The last I saw of her; she was almost foaming at the mouth. Please, excuse me if I’m impatient when it comes to seeing how she is,” Kai says, looking toward Xavier, whose friendly composure has returned, ready to abate any conflict arising between them.

“I should have let you know before bringing her out here like this-”

“No, I'm glad she has someone she can talk to,” Kai says.

Even without looking, I know he’s hurt about how little I confide in him these days. I want to tell him everything. I want him to be someone I can rely on.

But the truth only brings him closer to a bullet in his head.

Xavier looks down at his watch, letting out a loud sigh, followed by an expression I know means nothing good.

“I have a detail in the Unfortunate sector, just running the perimeter of the ward to check for tears,” he says, looking up at us both, “You’d better take the next tram back to the Academy to finish out what you can of your day,” he finishes, looking to me while he speaks.

Kai gives him a brief nod, readying himself to drag us away from the small garden area.

“Can you give me two minutes, please?” I question, seeing Kai hesitate before he moves around the bush to give us some privacy.

Xavier crosses his arms, watching me make my way in front of him.

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