Page 32 of The Order

“Good thing you have a perfect one right behind me. It balances out the fact you made a fuck up in your little lab,” I whisper, shoving my dad’s shoulder, not letting him try and use his words to sway yet another situation in his favor. I tap my ID on the panel, leaving everyone behind me with a rough slam of the door.

The tram waits at the stop, running its usual evening route for any Untouchables that want to migrate back toward the school. The school is no more than ten minutes from New Haven’s downtown shops, making it the perfect middle ground to drop off and pick up our people. I sling my hood over my head, staring at the clouded sky, wishing more than anything to be alone and away from my brother and friends. The tram looks empty. Mark's hunched figure sits at the wheel, flipping through a newspaper's black and white pages. I tap on the glass of the sliding door, keeping my hood up, making eye contact with Mark. He lowers his head, pulling open the doors with a handle.

“You don't have to do that,” I whisper, lingering on the staircase. Mark raises his head.

His hair is blanketed with gray streaks. Stubble surrounds his face, only adding to his mature features. A pair of green eyes, similar to mine, look toward me. He sits with a hunch, slender around the waist, teetering close to frail. The wheel has worn away in the places his hands touch most. He’s been stuck in this position for years. If I had to guess, he is in his 60's, possibly early 70's.

“You don't have to lower your head like that when it's just me,” I reiterate, letting the smile on my face finally show. His eyes widen. Never in the four years I’ve had him as my tram driver have I spoken to him like this. I keep my hood over my head, avoiding the camera at the front of the bus. He touches his throat, making my chest heavy, knowing he is trying to ask permission to speak.

“Please. I hate being in silence,” I motion, touching my throat with a smile.

“Are you okay, miss? You look … distressed,” he says.

His eyes move behind me as my friends pry open the tram doors. They don’t knock, but I know he would have appreciated it. I draw in a deep breath, shaking my head.

“I don’t know anymore,” I whisper, gazing past him to look like I was staring out the window this whole time.

Kai’s hand reaches my shoulder, turning me around. Mark looks away again, starting the ignition shortly after everyone is on. Kai drags down my hood, crossing his arms, only following me once I walk away. I give him a cold shoulder, planting myself in a seat closest to the red tape. My shoe touches the red line of the Unfortunate section, passing it once I relax into the seat. Kai doesn't seem to process that I want to be alone. Instead, he sits, motioning the others to join in around me. I reach for my hood to try and conceal my face once more. My brother can’t wait to stop me.

“You can be mad at Mom and Dad for whatever reason, not me. I’m on your side whether you realize it or not,” Kai says, letting go of his hold on my wrist. He drops my hand, looking out the window to distract himself from my coldness.

“Where is everyone else?” Rae questions, scanning the empty bus. Even she knows not to push me right now.

“There was another tram 30 minutes ago. A great deal of them were on the bus the first time around,” Mark says, offering his input once we make eye contact in his mirror.

“There's your answer,” I say, giving no one the chance to question Mark’s sudden chattiness.

Everyone takes that as a queue to leave me alone. No one knows how far I’m willing to go to make a point. This isn't the first time they’ve dealt with my mood swings like this. They used to come over me all the time as a child, ending with yelling from my mother and increases in the dosage of the pills she seemed to love to cram down my throat. Max watches me as if I am unhinged. His look is so different in contrast to Xavier's curious one.

I turn my whole body, staring out the window beyond New Haven and the ward. The darkening sky creates the beauty of the night and coats the open space above us. Dense trees, alive and dead, linger beyond the ward's sheer layer. Ash still lines the ground beyond New Haven, dusting remnants of what used to be valiant cities before the wars.

For a moment, and only a moment, I could almost swear, something moved, running beyond the ash and trees, looking toward New Haven with hungry eyes.

But that's impossible.

Nothing can live for more than a few days beyond the ward.

Or maybe that's just what we say to convince ourselves we aren’t in confinement.

Chapter ten

Forest

Amassivewhitetarphangsbetween two aspens positioned side by side in the school's front yard. Bright yellow tape surrounds the area where the koi ponds once were. The fish are no longer littering the ground. Nothing but two holes remain after the handy work of Unfortunate gardeners, no doubt. I half expect a smear of my blood to be on the wall after the events of today.

Thankfully, I see nothing.

Couples and groups join each other on blankets, huddling together to keep warm. Some wear thick jackets. Others resort to sitting on one another, hiding their risky touches from the watchful eyes of Officials patrolling the area at a safe distance.

A couple sneaks off into the thicker brush behind the school, touching each other in every way possible, only looking back at the group once before disappearing behind the bushes. A large projector plays nothing in particular, casting a blinding light over the white tarp. Some hold bags filled with popcorn; a buttery treat we so rarely are gifted due to the nutrition regulations in our food. The savory smell of the popped treat beckons me closer to the small booth the bags come from.

“I’m going to get us some,” I say, motioning to the bag a boy holds as he walks past us.

Raegan carries a bag filled with all we need to be comfortable tonight. Figures she would be the one to be fully prepared for the screening. Since the blowup at my house, everyone has been cautious about what they say around me. My attitude on the tram has only made them question my willingness to cause trouble. Despite my negative demeanor, Max has still managed to stay close.

Raegan begins spreading the blanket, pulling down my brother to join her. Kai doesn’t fight her, letting his body lean into her more than he has in the past.

“I am going to talk to a few of my buddies, and then I can help you carry everything over,” Max starts, grabbing my hand as if I will join him in speaking to his friends.

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