Page 23 of The Order

Kai's hand grabs my collar, silencing my words immediately. I feel him tug me toward him, pulling me free from my chair. I lean into his motions, forcing my head to meet his eyes.

“I didn’t say anything,” Kai reiterates, showcasing how far past his tipping point I have pushed him. He has done this since we were children. He always exerts whatever power he has to get a point across. He pushes me away whenever I think I am getting somewhere with him. Every one of his emotions feels like something I must earn to see. Everyone around me is entirely shut off, able to read me like an open book. I struggle to find my words, dragging myself away from his firm grasp, my shirt untucking. I force down the bottom, not letting the shirt pull out to reveal any of my skin. With a scoff, I swipe my hardware, shoving it deep into my bag with a grunt.

“Sit in silence alone with your conflictions. I hope Valerie repeats whatever she did to make you feel so morally defeated that you felt the need to grab me like that. I didn’t realize you and Josh had so many similarities,” I spit, ignoring my blade’s warning not to leave without synching new data to the blade's hard drive. I allow it to flash red, shoving past the classroom doors and spilling into the empty hallway.

I should go back inside. I should apologize and let all of my anger fade.

Sadly, leaving this bleak school is so much more enticing.

The warm sun shines through the multi-colored leaves. A once overcast sky is now filled with nothing but bright blue, stretching well beyond the ward. With a quick slip past reception and a toss of my ID into Kai’s bag, it was easy to get past the school's devices tracking my whereabouts. Beyond the chip behind my ear, there is no real way to follow us, and even then, the chips are entirely our own. Not even an Official has jurisdiction over your chip. It's the one thing we can hold onto with no constraints.

I rub the small scar on the back of my ear, feeling the tendrils of the chip snake beneath my fingers. My body hugs the side of the building, following along a small rocky path designated for leisure time. Koi fish follow me, letting their small heads bob to the surface with open mouths. I crouch down, laughing at the feeling of their tiny mouths latching onto my finger. I hoped they got more to eat than just the algae the school provides them. They look peaceful, swimming around their small pond with no cares in the world. Each one is the same. Genetically engineered to perfection, there are no differences between them.

“Even you have no room for flaws,” I whisper, gliding my hand over my birthmark with a frown.

Voices sound off from the side of the school, clashing with the peaceful flow of the koi ponds. The voices are whispers and argumentative words. I yank my finger away from the fish, silently apologizing while working closer to the sudden noise. I meet the corner of the school, peeking past it, hoping to see who else has decided their last period was worth leaving.

My stomach drops at the sight in front of me.

Fallan stares down at Valerie, keeping his tie loose around his neck with his sorry attempt at a tucked shirt on full display. His bag is on the ground, wide open, and filled with a plethora of contents I cannot identify. I hold myself close to the wall, focusing on their exchange.

“Are you going to stand here all day?” Fallan questions, crossing his arms as he looks down at Valerie.

I see her eyes roll at the comment. Even from here, the scars coating her hands in numerous places only seem to radiate in this lighting. She reaches into the pocket of her pants, pulling out a small black metal cylinder that I have only seen in the hands of the Officials. She clutches the light sensor prod, tossing it into Fallan’s eager grasp. He catches the device, opening and closing it with familiarity. His arms swing the device around, handling it as well as some of the more trained Officials.

For the first time, I see his smile.

It encapsulates his face, only creasing the crow's feet around his eyes. I want to look away from it. I want to loathe the way his eyebrows raise when he grins and despise the downturn of his mouth as he holds his smile. His straight teeth and gentle smirk only add to his look of glee. I could paint this image a million times and still want to see it in person. He smiles in a way I know so few must see. Only a second has passed once his mouth drops into its typical flat look. I shake my head, pulling myself away from my vile perceptions of the man.

He forces the prod into his bag, zipping it up and slinging it over his shoulder. He pulls Valerie into him, letting her arms wrap around his neck, whispering in her ear. I see her face fluster, only making my own grow hot with something more profound than embarrassment.

It’s something I can’t quite pinpoint.

I hiss as my mark burns once again. It feels like a painful fire in my lower stomach, growing the longer I stand here.

“Fuck!” Fallan curses, forcing my stare away from my birthmark. He clutches his chest, snapping his head in my direction. I have little time to push myself behind the wall. My body sinks to my knees, clutching my ears as an overwhelming sense of fear washes over me. Regardless of my grasp on my head, I hear their muffled tones.

“What is it?” Valerie questions.

“Nothing…. Let’s go,” Fallan says, pausing a great deal between the two statements.

The fear only grows, making my heart race like the drum of a thousand marchers. I dig my shoes into the Earth, grinding my teeth as the noises around me grow angrier. The once tranquil pond now sounds like the waves of a thousand angry seas. The clatter of dry leaves hitting the ground is now chalk on a whiteboard.

“Quiet,” I whisper, wishing every noise would silence. It becomes deafening, giving me no way to focus on anything but the sound of my heartbeat. It fills my ears in pulses. My blood pumps through me, clashing with all the other noise.

“Quiet!” I whisper again. Hitting my head hard against the wall, I feel a wave of dizziness come over me as the world suddenly becomes silent. Something wet coats my head before colliding with the ground in red droplets. I turn my head to inspect my cut in the koi pond, falling on my ass at the sight in front of me.

Every beautiful fish, once swimming peacefully, now gasps for air, thrashing against the dying grass. The pond water slowly seeps into the dry dirt, touching the tips of my shoes and creating a muddy mess around me. Numerous fish lie dying, all unable to find water in the now-drained holes in the ground. I look around, clutching the grass, forcing myself to my feet. I drag my hand over my head, reaching into my bag to find something to hold down on the tiny cut. I settle on a piece of fabric, stumbling forward as my muddy shoes cling to the dry grass. I step over the koi, watching their mouths gasp in pain, their lives slowly draining. It looks like the Earth up and left, grabbing the water, leaving the life to fend for itself.

I don't try and look around the corner of the wall. If they thought they were alone then, they surely don't now. I don’t stick around to find out why they need that light sensor prod.

My legs burn as I dash away from the destructive scene before me, trying my best not to see how many cameras caught my little stunt of smacking my head against the wall.

I force myself through the closest side door of the Academy, ignoring the visual of the desecrated pond flashing through my mind.

I wanted answers.

Now, all I have are questions.

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