Page 2 of The Order

At least, that's what I tell myself.

"Send her in," I finally urge with a slight wave of my hand.

Giving me a nod, she pulls away, her brown hair swaying in her long ponytail as she flashes a passing doctor a set of perfectly white teeth.

My fingers roll over my eyelids, rubbing away the pain the luminescent screen has brought to my eyes. Forest jolts in my stomach once more, my morbid thinking slowly dwindling as a smile encapsulates my face.

"Two more tests, little one, and we can finally go home," I whisper, pulling up the child's scorecard.

Lingering my cursor over the result I have been clicking all day, the want to mark the last two scorecards with a result of Cleansed and walk out of here has never felt more appealing. Once a year, they make us administer the tests, and once a year, we are faced with nothing but hours of the same results. Cleansed after Cleansed walks through the door, making each test seem increasingly more pointless.

I had always thought it was an honor to have been given such a significant role so young on my Judgment Day. Sometimes the job seems so easy I almost question why I was picked.

The sound of three knocks fills the room, the pretty nurse swinging open the door only moments later. Moving into the space, a pair of youthful blue eyes meet my brown ones, pulling me away from my seated position. My hands shake at the thought of something going wrong, or, even worse, having to administer an Expulsion. Pulling my dead expression into a smile, my hands stay deep within the pockets of my lab coat. The bright white LED lights illuminate the space, the small girl, Lily, holding a teddy bear close to her. The nurse urges her farther into the room with tiny pushes, both of us watching her gaze fixate on the oversized chair before landing on my enormous belly. Her small eyes squint, as if it is all too much at once for a child of her age.

"Hello, Lily, I am Doctor Blackburn. I will administer your chip insertion and test today along with nurse…," embarrassed at my lack of knowledge of the woman's name, I trail off.

"Amy," the woman says with a reassuring tone. Her fingers fidget with her badge, her legs a shaking mess.

Her clothes are ironed to perfection in a way that indicates they have never been worn. Her anxieties roll off of her like rain down a gutter. If I had to guess, this was her first time aiding an Expulsion test.

"Nurse Amy," I reiterate, the small girl's eyes squinting again in observance.

"Are the lights bothering you?" I question, motioning Amy to close the door. Slowly, she nods her head, motivating me to dim the lights. Shadows cast across the space, her eyes finally opening fully, her body relaxing slightly. Creeping closer to the oversized chair, she tosses the teddy she had brought with her in the seat, looking back to me for reassurance on what her next move should be.

"You can get on it," I urge. Lily scrambles to pull herself onto the seat, my hands outreached, instinctively moving to help her.

"I can do it," Lily says with a nose scrunch, her face pulling into a look of determination. After a few seconds, she is fully seated in the chair, her teddy staying between her arm and side, her hands rubbing it for comfort.

"So, Lily, what year are you?" I question. Amy trails behind me, her presence like a shadow. Typical with most first-year medical residents, she retains every bit of information she can, watching as I pass her a sterile wipe while pointing to the back of my ear.

"I'm still in primaries," Lily's high-pitched voice responds, her head flinching away from Amy's graze behind her right ear. Hesitance lines the child's face, her body moving as far away from the nurse as possible.

With a gloved hand, I sit back in my chair, rolling over to the pair, before taking the wipe away from Amy. With gentle hands, I run my hands through Lily's hair to soothe her. Progressively, she relaxes into my touch, allowing me to sterilize the skin quickly.

"I'm assuming you've done this before?" Amy questions jokingly.

"Once or twice."

"Do you mind grabbing the tray?" I ask. Amy nods, moving to my silver tray of tools. Her hands grab the small neuro chip, balancing it in her palm. Rolling over the cart filled with test supplies, its squeaky wheels turn. Lily's eyes watch the movements with genuine curiosity.

"Is that a chip like my mom and dad have?" Lily questions with a certain eagerness.

I sometimes forget how excited some can become to have the stability of their chips. It is nice to know you will always have regulations. No more sleepless nights, no more pain. The chips can turn the most rampant mind into one of the calmest in a matter of seconds. Imagine a lifetime of never wondering if your body is in peak condition.

With the chips, it's a guarantee.

Responding, I brush my hand over the scar behind my ear.

"We all have them, every four-year-old like you gets to come in and get their chip. However, not all of them have curls as pretty as yours," I whisper quietly, giving her cheek a slight pinch.

Her laugh lights up the silent space like a star in a dark sky. Even Amy smiles. Placing the chip in my hand, I reach for the small incision blade, keeping Lily's attention away from my hands.

"Why is your belly so big?" Lily questions. Her eyes stay focused on my torso as I tap behind her ear. She doesn't react to pressure on her skin. Good to know. The numbing properties of the wipe have already gone into effect.

It’s easy to look past the lack of weight on most people in New Haven. The food regulations have made it impossible to put on excess weight. Even when pregnant, my portions have only grown by a few measly extra calories. We can blame the old society's obesity and health issues for that lovely regulation.

"My daughter is in there," I say, pressing the thin blade down the back of her ear.

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