Page 162 of The Order

I pause.

You're not him.

My heart races.

And you never will be.

All at once, the door slams shut, his lips now like poison, threatening to melt the flesh off my skull. Shoving him away from me, I wipe my face with the back of my hand, feeling the bile in my stomach churn. My mark burns, and when I turn back to him, his face is flustered. I hunch over, my mind filling with a shockwave of fear as images of his gold-flecked irises slam into me.

“Don’t touch me again without asking,” I whisper, shaking my head to try and gain some clarity.

He watches me with clenched hands, touching his throat with small drags of his fingers.

“Why did you have to do that?” he questions, a nearly invisible line of tears rolling down his cheek.

“Do what?” I question furiously, forcing myself to stand straight.

“Why did you have to pull away?” he questions, closing his eyes as he speaks.

He lets out a deep breath, opening his eyes to motion towards my bathroom window.

“You'd better get going.”

Forcing his hands into his pockets, he steps back, turning away from me and walking into the shadows of the chilly, lifeless night.

I try to reach into his mind, but the familiar barrier greets me.

The cool breeze sweeps my hair. Its voice is shaky and unnerved.

“Were we ever actually sneaking into his mind… or were we let in?”

An oppressive silence blankets the space around me.

My knees buckle, forcing me down and into the ground, succumbing under the weight of my exhaustion.

Chapter fifty-three

Forest

Leavesscatterthegrounds,blanketing the sidewalks in shades of orange and red. After a great deal of effort put into figuring out an alternative commute back and forth to the Academy, Kai finally convinced me to get back on the tram, asking Mark several times if he was doing alright. The old man had managed to get away from the Shifter attack unharmed, and when he saw me for the first time since that night, he nearly touched me to check and see if I had been hurt. As far as we know, the Officials had disposed of the Shifter, urging everyone to get home before burning the body to a crisp in a fire at the edge of the sector.

Colton and Josh sit next to Rae and Max, the twins bitter toward us ever since the Solstice dinner. Max’s Academy uniform had been replaced with Official attire. As far as Kai knows, he’s already started his training. He scoffs as we walk by, turning to our classmates who surround him and whispering loud enough for us to hear that he’s appalled by “the corruption” in our family. Both Kai and I bite our tongues.

“Here comes the vermin,” Josh says, nudging Max.

Feeling his familiar energy buzz through me, I gaze forward, taking our usual seats toward the back. I manage to hold my typical facade in place. Leaning into my brother, I watch Fallan and Valerie move by, both silent, taking their seats behind the line in the back of the bus.

Glancing at our old friend group, I see their eyes are already on us, analyzing our every move. Clenching my hands, I focus on each one of them, imagining their heads flying back, hitting the glass behind them.

“Don’t,”he whispers, forcing me back into rational a rational mindset

I turn to give him a look, sneaking a small smile his way as I watch Valerie fidget with her blazer.

Fallan leans back, watching me back with playful eyes.

“What?”

“You look beautiful,”he says, my cheeks igniting with a rosy blaze at the compliment.