Page 149 of The Order

He snaps, his mental wall cracking under the pressure. As he moves towards me, I backstep until my back hits the wall. His hands grasp the sides of my face, his fears swirling within him, ready to burst free.

“Losing you!” he yells, his voice layered with different emotions. I navigate the open door in his mind. The visual of a man and a woman with eerily similar features to him lie motionless and pale on the ground.

His parents.

“Damn it, Forest! Can’t you fucking see? I lose everyone in one way or another.” A vivid image of my father passes through my mind.

“My parents, friends, family-”

More and more faces flash in front of me, all of them dead.

“And then for one fucking moment,” he continues, the night of the bonfire filling my mind. “There you were. Fragile and innocent, like a small bird.” His hands move away from my face and down my side. “And I wanted to keep that one good thing safe.” His hands squeeze my hips, my face flush with blood flow. “And they threatened to take it all… to take you away. A whole person wiped away with a little pill,” he continues, my heart breaking. “And now they threaten me again, no longer with a pill, but with your bloodshed.”

“I want you,” he starts, his mind rampant. “And they know that.”

“Who knows that?” I question, thinking of every possible way I want to hurt them for taking away his happiness.

He shakes his head, a faint, resigned smile spreading across his face.

“You can't bring them all down, Little Dove. Nothing is worth watching you die because I was not strong enough to stay away,” he whispers. “One kiss and I can never walk away. One kiss and I am yours until the day my heart stops.”

Every fiber of my being needs him at this moment.

“Don’t push me away,” I plea, a small tear escaping my eye.

I sense the pain my words cause him, feeling its heaviness in my chest.

“I have to, or else we can’t even have this… and worse, I end up losing you,”

I half expect the walls of his mind to go back up. Moments pass, and the door stays open, every raw emotion pouring down through me, and I’m ready to break.

“I will keep you safe,” he whispers, taking in every feature of my face. His thumb wipes away the tear that had made its way down my cheek and onto my lips. My energy dwindles as I continue to look around his mind.

“That I can promise.”

Dropping the sketchbook, I feel his arms wrap around me, keeping me from falling to the floor. Burying my face in his chest, I listen to his heart, wondering how long I can stand here before he pushes me away.

“Fallan! Are you here?” Aaron’s voice booms through the gym.

Fallan hesitantly let's go, his walls going back into place once more. Grabbing the sketchbook, he tucks it away in my bag, watching as his red-headed friend enters the space. My body tenses up at the sight of Valerie trailing behind him. She locks eyes with me from across the room, her arms crossed before she’s even made it over to us.

Aaron looks giddy, his grin widening at the sight of us together.

“You must be special for him to see you this many times in one week,” Aaron starts, his hand clapping Fallan’s back, “I hope it's worth putting a target on all of our backs to get your quick Untouchable fix,” Aaron pushes. Fallan is quick to shove away from his friend.

“Did you come in here just to run your mouth?” Fallan questions, anger now obvious in his expression.

“We came to take you back to the bakery. Jolie needs some extra hands to prep for the social tonight,” Valerie says, moving in front of me, doing her best to keep me away from Fallan.

“What time should I come?” I question, watching her body tense up at the question. “Assuming I bring Kai, he’ll want to know too,” I finish. Aaron's smile consumes his whole face.

“Ask Hunter. He’s the only one who wants you there,” Valerie starts, ready to lean into Fallan. He steps away, creating a divide between them.

Gradually, I creep into the cracks of her mind, focusing on navigating the spaces like Fallan has shown me, synching my breathing to her own. Where I half expect to feel the desire for Fallan brewing inside of her, I feel nothing. Taking a step toward the woman, we meet at eye level, and a wave of heady lust and longing washes over me.

This jealousy was never meant for any man.

Her beautiful face scowls. My hand reaches up to tuck a small piece of hair behind her ear. I smile gently at her, moving my lips to the side of her face.

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