Page 138 of The Order

Xavier’s expression as I ran away lingers in my mind, eating at me. Fallan continues to call out to me faintly through my mind. It’s hard for me not to recall how much he hated me when we first met. He’s been cold and closed off for all the right reasons. I wish it were as easy for me to have felt the same way towards him. It all seemed so real.

But the memory of us meeting when we were little, of the dance we shared by the fire at Josh’s house, those were real. The connection between our minds is real.

As much as he’d like to hide our feelings in a box and lock away the key, he can’t ignore what has already happened.

With a tug, I yank the bag’s straps over my shoulders and move to open my bathroom window. It’s become easier for me to brace for the drop out the window since I've done it so much lately. My boots collide with the Earth. The street is silent as most people are either in bed or are still out celebrating Solstice. Making my way to the perimeter, I run my hands along the ward before taking off in a sprint through the trees, my body barreling past the piles of changing leaves.

The Unfortunate sector was around five miles away. I planned to get there on foot. My legs were already burning running, and I wasn’t even halfway.

I’ve not seen Mark for several days, unsure how to speak to the old man after discovering that he’s my grandfather. Each time I see him, I feel guilty that my father has robbed him of the opportunity to be a part of our family.

The forest is quiet, my path illuminated by starlight from the clear sky above. My lungs fill with the brisk air, my energy levels swirling, ready to find some form of release.

“You’re an idiot for leaving Xavier back there,”It hisses, finally breaking Its silence.

I draw in a deep breath, shaking my head.

“Xavier’s not like me,”I say, dodging a fallen log.“The only way we begin to understand this is by channeling whatever this is. Fallan is the only other person like us that we've met,”I say, hearing It laugh.

“You don’t understand anything about us, yet you think someone with so much disdain toward us will be willing to help?”

“Why can’t you just cooperate?”I question, trying to ignore Its overbearing presence.

“I do cooperate. I’m you. The only reason you can hear me as a separate sort of thing is because you refuse to embrace the other parts of yourself.”I scoff at the notion that this thing is truly a part of me.

“You’ve yet to tell me what other parts of myself I’m missing,” I mutter, snapping a hanging branch with a slight flick of my wrist.

“You hate what we are, deep down. As long as you do that, I will always be separated from you, and we will save no one.”

We both remain silent for a moment, the noise of my boots hitting the ground loud and repetitive.

“I don’t hate you,”I finally say, feeling a sense of relief wash over me.

“You don't have to hate me to fear this part of yourself,”It whispers, the words echoing in the chasm of my mind.

In an instant, my head fills with a pounding pain, my arm reaching out to grip the nearest tree. I clutch the side of my head, doing my best to focus on blocking out the drumming that reverberates through every part of my skull. The forest shutters beneath the touch of the wind, sounds amplified as I work through the pain.

The voice breaches my mind. The same voice from the Solstice festival.

“Can you hear me?”the male's voice questions, my knees threatening to buckle beneath the sheer use of force he’s using to get past my mental barriers. I crumple over into the dirt, feeling the pain subside with each passing second.

“Who was that?”It questions frantically, forgetting the hostility between us.

“I don't know,” I say, clenching my chest, gasping for air. “But I have a feeling we have a much bigger problem than we realized.”

I slip past the opening again, finding the same hole Kai and I utilized the last time we were here. With careful steps, I avoid disturbing the rubble on the ground, quickly moving in step with a stranger through the gate check, taking advantage of the sleeping Officials guarding the sector’s entrance. Drawing my hood tighter around my head, I focus my attention on remembering the way to Fallan’s building, doing my best to avoid unwanted attention. As much as I’d like to think I blend seamlessly in with the people in this sector, the reality is that there are differences between us. Where their backs hunch from years of work, mine stands tall. Where they stagger in their step from years of torture or unhealed injuries, I can see my steps are even and unburdened. Hardship is painted on the face of every Unfortunate I pass here.

I move for the nearest side street, planning to take as many backways as it takes to stay unnoticed.

“No! Please!” a young boy shouts, stopping me dead in my tracks. I peer down a narrow side street, nearly missing it had the boy not yelled. Two Officials lean over him, holding the boy down with the heels of their boots. He can’t be more than ten years old. His tiny form looks ready to break under the weight of the two Officials pressing down on him.

“I’ll go home. I swear. I didn’t realize curfew was in effect!” the boy pleads. I dart behind a nearby wall, waiting to see if they’ll let him go.

The men snicker, pressing their boots down harder on top of the boy. He winces in pain, and I'm sure he’ll have bruised tomorrow.

“Well, technically, you have two minutes before curfew begins,” one of the men says. My eyes watch his hand as it moves to grab his prod. “But this is still a valuable lesson for you to learn. Consider this a practice punishment. If you’re not early, you’re late,” he continues, smiling at his partner. They reach for their prods at the same time, and the boy begins to scream again. He tries to move out from under their hold but goes still when the light sensor prods come to life.

“I don’t know about you,”It whispers, my blood pumping adrenaline.“But now feels like a good time to let me out,”It says, dragging its hands along the mental cage I've trapped it in.

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