Page 137 of The Order

“No, but I want you to tell me.” My hands move down his chest, the other part of me guiding my actions, embracing my desire for him.

He pulls his lips to my ear as his hands travel up my lower back. His breath brushes my skin, my face heating as sinful thoughts enter my mind.

“Because I crave you,” he says, his lips grazing over my nose. “And I want to be the one who knows every part of you.”

His hands continue moving along my curves. “I think about painting your body with my tongue. And I want to be the one to fulfill every single one of your desires and know your every want,” he whispers, his lips so close to finally pressing against my own.

My hands tremble, my heart pounds. I close my eyes to try and better process what he’s telling me.

I want him.

His eyes, deep and mesmerizing blue.

I want him.

His kind smile that lights up a room.

I want him.

His raven hair and a coy smirk that somehow always makes me flustered.

No. That’s not right.

My heart stops.

My eyes fly open, my body ready to collapse under the pressure of the realization that lies in front of me.

“But you're not him,” I whisper, my voice barely audible.

Xavier’s eyes go wide, his grasp no longer light and gentle. The fear settles in my stomach once again, the other part of me growing angry, banging fiercely around in my mind, pushing me to choose Xavier.

I don't know when I started backing away or when Xavier’s grasp on my arm turned into a reach, leaving his hands outstretched in the space between us. His hand holds his throat, his eyebrows creasing as he releases nothing but a small faint groan.

The pain of my rejection consumes his face.

I should want this moment with him.

I should wanthim.

But I don’t. So I turn around and run towards what I do want, my mind pushing my body to move quicker than I've ever moved before. I now know one thing for certain.

“None of this was ever about Xavier,”I carelessly whisper in my silent mind, wanting nothing more than to hear his voice.

Xavier watches me leave from the balcony.

I try to feel his presence, reaching for any string of connection to him in my mind.

But in an instant, another connection flares to life, his words coming through my mind like honey.

“I can't keep listening to your thoughts… come to me, Little Dove.”Fallan’s voice urges.

Chapter forty-three

Forest

Keepingagobagcrammed under my bed these last few months has proven to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. As beautiful as this gown is, tearing it off was such a relief.

Forcing it into the laundry hamper, I quickly throw on a dark, hooded jacket, black jeans, and a pair of boots. I'm hoping that everyone will be too busy continuing to celebrate Solstice so I can go unnoticed as I make my way out of the sector.

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