I feel my heart wrench. This back-and-forth dynamic between us is unbearable.
Slowly closing the space between us, I move closer, raising my hands to touch his chest. A fire comes to life inside me the moment I feel the warmth of his skin beneath the uniform. The other part of me takes control as I lean in closer to him.
“Touch me, then. Kiss me,” I whisper, edging my mouth closer. He grasps me tightly, his heartbeat pounding against my hand.
“No, Forest. I don’t care for you that way-” he whispers, ready to push me back again.
It speaks for me, eager and full of energy.
“Bullshit!” I hiss.
“I want to feel you, and only you,” I whisper, Its confidence swirling through me. “If I’m alone with you again-”
“There will be no again,” he says, his words crashing into me, forcing the other part of me back into Its cage.
He grasps me, moving me back at arm's length. His shirt is a mess. My dress is no longer as flat and pristine as it once was. The music travels down the alleyway, both of us fixing our clothing. His hand is quick to readjust my hair.
“The bastard really did dye it,” he says, toying with a few pieces.
“You want to talk about my hair? After all of that?”
He touches my chin, craning my head up to look at him.
“I’m two seconds away from doing something I regret. I suggest you let it go,” he says, ready to move away.
I press my head to his chest, listening to his rampant heartbeat. It calms my mind.
“This coldness is breaking me,” I whisper, watching his eyes fill with anguish at my admission.
“I’m sure you can fit the pieces back together,” He says stoically.
Slowly, I move away, a range of emotions adding to how confused I am about what’s going on between us.
“How long do you plan on doing this to me?!” I yell. He stands still, his eyes lowered.
“As long as it takes,” he says coldly.
A loud cracking noise fills the air. Static from the intercom systems blares through the air. Our heads snap toward the end of the alleyway, exchanging a long look of confusion.
“Stay here,” I say, pulling away from him, giving him no time to react as I move closer to the commotion.
The noise grows louder the closer I get to the exit. People cover their ears to stop the pain from the abrasive sound. Officials bark orders, yelling at people to turn off the systems, unable to be heard over the sound now coming through intercoms. A slow, unfamiliar song plays over the system. The sound of a long-forgotten melody surrounds the space. I glance around, spotting Xavier and my parents, all of them yelling for someone to turn down the noise. Slowly, I begin pushing through the crowd, watching Fallan exit the alley behind me, joining the chaos in front of us. Kai pulls away from his conversation with one of the caterers. Hunter's dark eyes find mine as Fallan joins his companion. Both men pick up food trays and busy themselves as the music continues. Kai covers his ears, moving toward me and away from the boys, saying something I’m not able to make out. I avoid looking toward Fallan, feeling Xavier’s eyes on me as the music fades out and a voice bellows out through the speakers.
“The world you live in is a lie,” the voice hisses.“We are here to tell you, the ash is not all that remains.”Upper leadership is frozen, unable to stop the voice from continuing.
“There are those amongst you who have broken free of this facade. New Haven isn’t safe. The Commander lies to you all. Find us,”the voice says, my stomach churning.“And your souls will finally be free.”
My eyes dart to Fallan.
He looks confused, glancing at me briefly. Both of us are unsure what to do.
“Who was that?” Kai questions shakily, his eyes wide.
I look back to Xavier, his body frozen, as if he’s processing everything he's heard. Slowly, he raises his head, our eyes locking.
For a moment, and only a moment, I feel something snap into place. A small glimpse into his mind. His worries pass through me, a deep fear threatening to break me down on the spot. As quickly as it came, it faded, and I watch as he backed away into the crowd of Officials calling his name.
“Did you hear me?” my brother questions, shaking me out of my trance.