Page 125 of The Order

“They will destroy anything that’s different. And no one's mind is safe. The Apparatus is near, Forest, and it will take you and all those who fear it with it,” he says, stumbling toward me, nearly falling into me. I grab his arm, trying to get him to focus on me.

“I know about Mark,” I whisper, watching his eyes widen in their drunken haze. “I know who you are,” I reiterate, watching as a strange smile spreads across his face.

“He would’ve loved you and your brother,” he says, barely coherent. “Do you know?” my father questions, his eyes halfway open as his legs begin to give out.

“Do I know what, Dad?” I question, following him to the ground.

“They won't let me,” he says, gently closing his eyes. “They won't let me tell you,” he continues, pressing his head to the cool floor.

“What am I?” I question as he mumbles something I can’t make out. “Why do they want me?” I push, leaning my head closer to his mouth to hear better.

“It's cruel what they did. I thought I was protecting you,” he mutters, touching my face with a cold hand.

“You will lead them all from the darkness.”

His voice is the clearest it's been this whole conversation.

“Or we all die fighting to keep the darkness away from you,” he finishes, my heart dropping at his declaration.

I fall to my ass, backing away from my father, watching sleep overtake him. I feel my heart rate pick up, looking at my reflection in the silver tray that sits on the coffee table. It's there, watching me with a look that tells me It's just as shocked and confused as I am.

“What are we?” I question, watching It shake Its head.

Its posture is rigid, and Its demeanor is somber. For a moment, I wonder if I'm seeing the real version of the monster that’s been tormenting me for the last several days.

“Damn,”It starts, moving Its hands through Its hair.

“We're running in the dark, looking for the light, expecting it to just show up in front of us.”It finishes.

“How long have you been with me?” I ask, unsure if I want the answer.

“Always,”It says, rubbing Its arms.“I've always been a part of you, but we were lost to each other once. I’ve been waiting to connect to you once more ever since.”

Once more?

“Can I trust you?”

“Trust me? When will you learn?”It smiles, pointing its finger at me.

“I am you.”

Chapter forty-one

Forest- Three Weeks Later

Brightorangesandredspaint the downtown shopping center in a mirage of warm shades. Hints of cinnamon and nutmeg permeate the air, pairing perfectly with the aroma of varying sweet treats made freshly available for the upcoming holiday.

The Fall Solstice Festival has been around for as long as I can remember, allowing people more liberty to celebrate with as much food and alcohol as they want. New Haven citizens are assigned special outfits meant only to be worn during the festivities. The maroon material of my costume clings to my body, my hair freshly dyed to a dull shade of dark brown, all of my silver locks now snuffed out and hidden. With Xavier’s help, I managed to get all the silver, feeling grateful when he asked no questions about the sudden want for change. Both of us looked saddened to see the lighter color go. Over the last few weeks, my body has begun adjusting to the power growing within me. It’s becoming easier to dictate the energy around me.

My dress stops just above my knees, and I’ve paired it with a set of tights and black high-heeled shoes. Kai wears a maroon shirt tucked into a pair of black slacks. His hair lies perfectly smoothed back with a gel my father made him wear.

It's been weeks since I've engaged with Fallan. Sometimes, we find each other late at night when we can be alone in the privacy of our minds without interruption, but besides a few stolen glances and the occasional leak of emotions down our mental bond, we’ve kept our distance from each other at school. Colton and Josh continue to push their limits with him, and there have been a few times where I may have taken the liberty to step into their minds, offering him some reprieve by forcing them to trip down the stairs, drop their lunch trays, or run into a door or two. All accidents of course.

We’ve seen Hunter a few times, briefly in passing, as he runs his routes for the bakery. Kai has tried to wake up early enough to catch him before school, even tolerating Aaron’s presence so he can spend some time with him. Valerie has been as unpleasant as possible, doing her best to taunt me when she’s with Fallan and knows I’m around. But over the past few weeks, he’s leaned away from her touch more and more. Things are different, and we can’t take any of it back.

Mom and Dad, however, have gone on as if nothing happened between us. While I knew my mother’s chip had been activated, I didn’t notice anything that indicated my father’s was manipulated, too. Regardless, it was apparent that denial would be the way we moved forward together as a family.

My father’s drinking has escalated, and as a result, so has his use of control over my mother’s chip. When I’m in bed at night, I sometimes tap into Fallan’s dreams, unsure how much longer I’ll be able to keep my distance from him.

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