Page 123 of The Order

He lingers in my room now, biting his nails down to the bed, dragging along his childhood blanket in hopes that it might calm him down. In moments like this, I see my brother as the young boy who always stood in the back of the group, too nervous to move, silently observing his surroundings before speaking.

“You told him?” Kai asks me again, trying his best to get his facts straight as if analyzing our situation makes it any more manageable.

“Just what he needed to know, but yes. We need someone on the inside of all of this, you know that. As long as Xavier trusts me, we have that in.”

He pauses, narrowing his eyes like I’m prey and he’s ready to pounce.

“Is that 'trust,' earned the same way it was with Fallan?” Kai questions, motioning to his neck in small drags.

“Whatever happened between me and Fallan is none of your concern-”

“So, somethingdidhappen?” Kai pushes, holding his hands to his hips as if he had any room to judge me. There was something different about how my brother acted around Hunter, but I wasn’t ready to ask about that yet.

“If something happened,” I say, pointing to him, “It was because I wanted it to. Fallan is not the true enemy here,” I clarify, watching my brother rub his temples.

“I know, Forest,” he says, taking a seat on my bed. “I’m just trying to process everything that's happened. My life has been turned upside down in just a few days. One minute, I despise everything about the Unfortunates, and the next,” he pauses, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I’m almost wishing you were with Fallan instead of here,” Kai mutters, letting out a gentle sob.

“W- Why is that?” I question, joining my brother on the soft comforter.

“Because I’d rather be in that bakery, getting strangled by Valerie and watching Fallan put on that terrible act pretending to hate you. It was all so real. The smile on Hunter’s face. Jolie’s kindness. All of it. It may not be practical, but it was real, and I felt safer with all of them than I have in a long time. I can tell you feel the same,” Kai says.

I wanted to tell him the truth about me.

“Remember, as far as anyone knows, our hands are entangled in Blondie’s hair, not Fallan’s.”It whispers in my mind, a gentle reminder of why I can’t admit anything yet.

“Fallan’s hate for me is not an act… genuinely. I find comfort in Xavier,” I say, biting my lip as I force out the lie.

I feel a dull ache in my chest, but it fades as quickly.

“Right,” Kai mutters, shaking his head. “If that's what you need to tell yourself,” Kai says.

A low rumble fills the hallway, both of us looking at the locked door sealed shut with the aid of the back of a chair. I listen to the heavy footsteps of my father stumbling away from his bedroom, my mother quietly pleading for him to go back into their room so that they can talk. Not too long after my time in the bathroom with Xavier, my father had asked him to leave, hauling my mother in the room with him, pairing his anger with a rich bottle of scotch. I could tell Xavier had no desire to leave and became even more determined to stay when I leapt down from my seat on the bathroom counter and immediately started to sway on my feet. At that point, I no longer had the energy to maintain the wall I’d built to block Fallan out, and his concern for me rampaged down our mental bond, threatening to suffocate me in panic before I was able to reestablish the connection to let him know I was alright. Eventually, Kai was able to convince Xavier to leave, promising to send word if our father became too escalated. After much deliberation, I used the bond to reach out to Fallan, coaxing him to relax.

The door handle jiggles, shaking violently beneath my father’s touch. Kai flinches at the noise, my eyes watchful as my hand unintentionally clenches, using what energy I have left to force the chair harder against the door. I want to cover my ears as we sit huddling under the blanket that felt much bigger when we were kids. Now, it barely covers our laps.

“Your heart is racing…. Are you okay?”he questions, the concern apparent in his tone even through the vast space of my mind.

“My father is worked up.”

“Andrew, that's enough,” my mother says, trying to get him away from the door.

“Kaiden and Forest Blackburn, get out here!” my father yells. Kai clenches the blanket tighter.

“Maybe it's best to stay in your room,”Fallan hisses, not making it sound like a suggestion.

“I know,”I start, continuing to hold the door with my mind.

“I promise we’ll talk once I calm him down,”I whisper, unsure how long I can hold the door closed with my powers.

I lean into my brother, overwhelmed with a sudden burst of energy flooding my system.

“I’m not taking any chances on you running out of strength,”he whispers, my mouth curling into a small smile.

“But you needed that,”I protest.

“You need it more.”

“Kaiden!” my father yells again. He’s determined to finish what they started earlier in the living room.

---