Page 110 of The Order

“I remember that night, you know,” I start, watching his body tense up. “That night at Josh’s party,'' I continue, keeping my voice low as I hide my emotions. “I remember what it was like to see your smile and feel your hands on me like they were a few moments ago,” I continue, looking up at him, hoping I'm not wrong about this thing between us. “You gave me that necklace, the same necklace I could never bring myself to take off. I had no idea why,” I admit, feeling the tears ready to burst from my eyes. I let out a small sob, forcing his hands to touch my waist as he looks me over with a stern expression. “You danced with me that night, with a smile on your face I could never forget,” I continue, not able to look away from something hanging on his wall. “I gave you that drawing when we were children,” I say, pointing to the framed piece of art above his bed. It's the same messy drawing of the field of flowers I’d made all those years ago, untouched by time. "So don't tell me this is only physical because, damn it, Fallan, I know there is so much you haven't told me about us,” I say, feeling the tears falling over my heated cheeks.

Fallan’s eyes flash briefly with something like agony and longing before all traces of feeling fade abruptly, and there’s nothing left but a thick wall that slams against my heart mercilessly. I watch his face contort from conflict as he glances at the painting, prying his hands away from me. I watch him go over to his bed, swiping the picture off the wall. I cover my mouth to hide my emotions, watching him pace around the room as he looks at the drawing.

“A few stolen memories, and you think that erases all that your people have done to me? You think a few stolen moments with me have me as desperate for you as you are for me?” he questions, pausing in front of a trash bin. I flinch as his hand drops the frame in the trash, feeling my heart burst again at the sight.

“If you came to my sector hoping there’d be something between us, that I’d want you... you’re delusional,” he whispers, clenching his jaw as he speaks. "Besides, you’ve got a willing Official at your doorstep who seems way more your speed. It would seem that’s your poison these days anyway,” he says, a lick of jealousy lingering in the bite of his words.

I shove away my emotions, creeping closer to the wall in his mind he’s put up between us.

“I don't buy it,”it whispers, feeding me with power as I brush my hands along the mental wall, looking for any signs of weakness.

“Is that what this is about, then? Xavier?” I question, watching his facial expression change as I find a crack I'm looking for.

I feel his emotions swirl on the other side of the barrier, each more conflicting than the last.

“I’d say we guessed right,”it says, coaxing me to continue.

“I couldn’t care less who you share your bed with,” Fallan says, crossing his arms as he watches me. I creep closer to him, glancing at his roaring fireplace, ready to call his bluff.

Slowly, I move closer to the trash bin, reaching down to grab the picture frame. He watches me turn it over in my hands, observing it closely.

“Is everything that you say true?” I question, angrily looking at him.

“Cross my heart,” he says, leaning in, towering over me.

I nod as I back away, moving closer to the fireplace as I swing the frame in my hands.

His relaxed position on the wall grows more rigid, his body no longer so casual.

“Then none of it matters,” I whisper, gradually moving the frame closer to the flames, feeling a sense of his panic.

“There's that fire I missed,”it says with glee.

“Forest, get away from there,” Fallan says, taking several steps toward me.

“Purely physical, Fallan? Maybe I should take this to Xavier,” I start, ready to drop the frame in the flames. “He'd appreciate it-”

His hands are on my waist in a matter of seconds, pulling me away from the flames as he grabs the frame free from my hands. I watch him gently place it down on the side table closest to his couch. Once he’s made sure the picture is safe, he backs me up further several more steps. My thighs brush against something firm, meeting the edge of his bed. He pushes me down until I’m seated in front of him.

“Stop saying his name,” Fallan mutters, crouching down until he’s eye level with me. I look at him with a cocked head, narrowing my eyes at him.

“What happened when my father and his men were over here?” I question, watching Fallan’s jaw clench.

“They threatened to take away something very important to me,” he whispers, placing his hands on both sides of me and drawing a deep breath.

“Do you know what it's like to have him come in here and tell me all the places on your body he’s going to explore? The way he craves the parts of you that you hide from everyone else,” Fallan starts, his breath brushing the side of my neck as his body leans over me. I feel my heart thundering in my chest as he leans closer until his lips hover above my neck.

“Have you touched me before, Fallan?” I question, unable to stop the words from leaving me.

He smirks, his voice low as his teeth bite at my earlobe. I let out a shaky breath as he bites down gently. He supports himself to stop from crushing me.

“I have your body mapped out completely, but I've never allowed myself to explore it. You're more intoxicating than a bottle of scotch. I can’t escape how you make me feel and I want to drown in you,” he starts, his words sending chills down my spine, the ache between my legs returning. “I've never given in to this desire to touch you the way I want, to have your lips on mine,” he continues, my throat unable to contain the noise that escapes me once his lips touch my neck. I let out a soft moan as he takes the skin between his teeth, sucking gently on the sensitive areas he seems to know so well, applying more pressure as more sighs of pleasure escape me. The barrier in his mind is suddenly removed and desire overwhelms me as I feel the connection giving me access to his unbridled state. I reach my hands up toward him, grabbing his neck as I pull myself closer. His hand is already positioned to push me away, applying pressure to my lower stomach. His fears of not being able to control himself surge through the connection.

“I've already done too much,” Fallan mutters, running his free hand along the skin of my neck, observing the marks he no doubt has left. “You have to get that healed before anyone sees,” he whispers, my mind racing back to Xavier.

“Did he threaten you? Is that who you’re afraid of?” I question shakily, not letting go of him.

He pauses, keeping his hand on my lower stomach.

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