Page 88 of Men in Shorts

Ben considered getting up to find out, but he couldn’t open the door in his current state. Even if he could somehow hide his erection, he was pretty sure that apart from his boxers, his clothes weren’t yet dry.

So he just lay there, prick in hand, listening. Waiting.

* * *

I can’t,Evan thought as he sat outside Ben’s door, his back pressed to the wall.I can’t do this.

He was desperate for another touch of Ben’s hand, another glimpse of those bow-shaped lips and laughing eyes.

All he had to do was knock.

Ben would open the door and let him in, would probably kiss him and take him to bed straight away, no questions asked. Ben would make him forget.

And then what?asked the reality-based voice inside him.

Evan knew the answer: He wouldn’t be able to contact Ben again until the MI5 vetting process was completed. How much worse would that delay feel after they’d hooked up? Ben would be angry and hurt, and he’d have every right to be.

So there were two choices:

1) Have a one-night stand and hope his supervisors never found out.

2) Wait, have Ben vetted, and if his background check was clean, invite him to dinner and give him the best first date he’d ever had. Then maybe someday, Evan could tell him everything allowed by law: that he was no architect, but rather a member of Her Majesty’s Security Service. If Ben didn’t hate him for what he was, they could have something real.

It should have been an easy choice. But Evan was so lonely, and Ben’s arms and mouth and body were so close…

* * *

Ben didn’t knowEvan well, but he already recognized the sound of his sigh.

Remembering the complimentary Dunleven dressing gown, Ben flipped back the covers and carefully descended the bed-staircase. His bottom lip was swollen, nearly numb where he’d been biting it the last fifteen minutes.

He found the soft flannel dressing gown on the settee. He quickly slid it on, tied the belt, then went to the door and put his ear to the carved-wood surface.

On the other side was silence.

Softly he turned the knob and opened the door without a creak.

Evan was descending the grand staircase, his back to Ben. The smell of coffee wafted up from the Hall of the House below. Ben opened his mouth to call out, but something about the determined set of Evan’s posture stopped him.

Ben shut the door without a sound. Instead of returning to bed, he went to the window and drew back the heavy curtain. For what seemed the ninetieth time that night, he gasped in awe at the sight before him.

The snow had stopped and the clouds had cleared, revealing a carpet of stars. The city of Perth shimmered on the horizon to the north.

The land always hunkered down during these darkest days, but at least now it had the snow to shield it from the scathing Scottish winds. With this gift of a swaddling blanket, it could simply rest and renew itself.

Ben sensed a brokenness in Evan, one that couldn’t be mended without a kind companion but not solelywithone either. If Evan needed time to sort himself, Ben would give it to him. He would have faith in the connection they’d forged tonight.

Perhaps soon they’d have an actual date, then another and another. Perhaps they’d kiss in the park under spring rain and whisper secrets across pillows in the middle of the night, two things Ben hadn’t done in…God, how long had it been since he’d trusted someone enough to open his heart?

Perhaps it was time for a change. Time for some courage.

If not now, when? There was more hope in the air than ever in his lifetime. As of six hours ago, every person in Scotland was finally free to marry the one they loved. If only Ben could grant himself the freedom to take a chance.

He pressed his nose to the cold window and let his breath form a circle of warmth. Yes…for Evan, he would try to be brave.

For in this new year, anything was possible.

And then…

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