Page 47 of Men in Shorts

“Better than I was. Got bags of sleep this week.” He looked around at the other couples. “I’ve been to a dozen of these parties, and it still feels odd to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Dance with another loon. In front of…everyone.”

Duncan’s eyes turned sad, but they didn’t leave Brodie’s face. “I’m sorry for being a bastard.”

“You weren’t.”

“I was—during the match, and afterward, and even before. I was so off my nut about Evan and then that stupid defender, I couldn’t put myself in your place for two seconds.”

Brodie’s throat began to thicken with tears, blocking all the words that needed saying.I’m sorry too. Sorry I crumble at the first sign of danger. Sorry I’m not man enough to live in your world.

He let go of Duncan. “I can’t do this.” He turned and bolted for the door. Duncan shouted his name, but it only made him run faster. He couldn’t let Duncan see him fall to pieces again.

Brodie had barely crossed the threshold when his dash slowed to a stagger, the lingering virus sucking his stamina. Halfway down the hall Duncan skidded in front of him to block his path.

“Brodie, don’t you dare tell me you can’t do anything. I know you better than that. How can you not see how amazing you are?”

“Maybe because most of my life, I’ve heard that people like me are pieces of shite who’ll burn in hell. After the first ten or fifteen years, it starts to sink in.”

“I know it does.” Duncan rubbed the side of his finger over his own lips. “No, I take that back. Idon’tknow what it’s like. I’ve had it easy. I can never really understand what you’ve been through. I look in your eyes and I see so much pain that I can’t take away. All these months we’ve known each other, you hid it so well. Or maybe I was just oblivious. Then last week, I saw it, but I didn’tgetit. I didn’t know the power it had over you, until it came between us.”

Brodie put a hand to the wall to steady himself. He’d wanted Duncan to understand, but now that he did, it felt like his skin was peeling back, exposing every weakness. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know.” Duncan’s voice softened. “I know you need to feel safe. And I know as long as those bullies are in your head, I can’tmakeyou feel safe. Not by bringing you soup and tea, and not by punching out bad guys.” He took a step closer. “But maybe I can make you feel strong, and then you can makeyourselffeel safe.”

It seemed impossible. “How will you do that?”

“Just listen, okay?” Duncan squeezed his eyes shut. “I’ve worked out how to tell you something important, and I don’t want to screw this up.”

“Okay.” Brodie glanced at a group of girls passing by on their way to the party. “Go on,” he said when they were alone again.

Duncan bit his lip. “Look, I’m not one for holding back. It’s not in my nature. But with you, I held back. Every step of the way I let you lead.” His words tumbled out faster. “You pushed me away after vacation, so I waited. Then you kissed me. Then you pushed me away after our date, and I waited again. Then you came to my room. Then you pushed me away after the match, and I—I couldn’t wait anymore. I couldn’t stand to see you at the flat and not be with you. Knowing this time you weren’t coming for me.”

I did. I did come for you, but you were gone.

Duncan paused, tracing his finger over the wall tile. “You want to know why I waited, why I let you take the lead? Because I thought you were weak. But I was wrong.”

“I am weak,” Brodie whispered. “You deserve better.”

“I deserveyou. Now in ten seconds, I’m going to take you in my arms and tell youyou’rewrong too, because I know you’re strong enough to hear it.” He touched Brodie’s shoulder with a trembling hand and met his eyes. “Then in ten minutes, I’m going to take you back to my room and ask you to fuck me, because I know you’re strong enough to do it.”

Brodie gasped, his face flaming with shock, excitement, and finally confusion. “Wait, you mean?—”

“Aye, I want you inside me,” he whispered, sliding his arms around Brodie’s waist. “You may not know your strength yet, but I do. And I’ll be happy to show it to you. Because I’m done holding back.”

Then Duncan kissed him, slow and deep, until Brodie’s entire spine turned to molten lava. His back softened into the perfect arch that melded their bodies. Yet other parts of him felt suddenly hard, even invincible.

He wanted this. He needed this. He feared this.

Finally Brodie drew away, long and far enough for one question. “Do we have to wait ten minutes?”

Chapter14

Duncan wantedto spend the interminable taxi ride home snogging their faces off, but he knew it would make Brodie uncomfortable in the presence of the driver. So they merely held hands.

Merely, hah. Their hands performed the most delicious simulation of what was to come. Fingers traced one another’s curves and angles, exploring every millimeter of skin. Then Brodie skated his nails over the back of Duncan’s hand, making him shiver. Finally their palms pressed together, arching and sliding like bodies in the heat of passion.

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