Page 114 of Must Love Christmas

“I know, I read the sign.” John pulled off his blue puffy coat. “Glad to see Fergus isnae the only one who writes overly specific edicts for party guests.”

“Simon made it,” Garen said.

Fergus gave Simon an approving nod. “Pro tip? Laminate the instruction sheet so you can reuse it.”

“Ta!” Simon called after him as Fergus and John moved toward the door.

Garen sat beside him again, handing him a fresh glass of seltzer. “Gillian, your brother needs you in the bathroom.”

“That’s a sentence I’ve not heard in about twenty-five years,” she said as she got up, “but I think I know what this is about.”

“So what’s the big secret?” Simon asked Garen.

“You’ll see.” Garen looked him up and down as he sipped his krasomelo.

“I feel pure sound,” Simon said, trying not to seem irritated.

“It’s not that.” Garen tugged Simon’s collar. “Have I mentioned in the last hour that I’m proud of you for taking that job?”

“Thank you.”

“I love a man who follows his principles, especially in these troubled times.” He tapped the jingle bell at the end of his Santa hat. “Also, it would’ve been awkward if we’d watchedA Christmas Caroltomorrow with you working for a modern-day Ebenezer Scrooge.”

“Which version ofA Christmas Carolwill we be watching?”

“I’m thinking, in order, Finney, Scott, Muppets, Murray, Stewart.” Garen counted off on his fingers. “What are your thoughts?”

Simon gaped at him, then realized Garen was joking. “I predict I’ll be very tired tomorrow.”

“Fine, fine, we’ll do one classicChristmas Carol—which will be your choice—and one modern, which will be the Muppets’.” He looked past Simon at the living room door. “Ooh, it’s time.” Garen pulled out his phone and used the wireless sound system’s app to change songs.

A flourish of trumpets came from the speakers. Gillian swept in from the hallway, with the regal posture of an awards presenter. “Ladies and gentlemen,” she said in a posh accent, “it is my honor, as the senior member of the Riley clan currently residing on this great island, to announce the union of—”

“Oi!” Luca rushed in, tugging Oliver by the hand. “Gill, you’re meant to introduce us, not spill the secret yourself.”

Gillian dropped her hands. “I wanted to rehearse this, but no, you said we should—”

“Hey, everyone.” Oliver raised his voice over Luca and Gillian’s bickering. “We’re getting married!”

As the other guests cheered and rushed forward for hugs and backslaps, Garen let out a huge breath and sank into the back of the couch. “Thank God I don’t have to keep that secret anymore.” As the vaguely ceremonial song ended, Garen switched the sound system back to Christmas music using his phone app. “I’ve known for weeks they were gonnae ask each other. Aren’t you impressed I didn’t tell you?”

“Actually, I am. Well done, you.” Simon looked around the room and realized that apart from two work pals, nearly all of Garen’s closest friends came from the curling club. It really was like a family. They’d made Simon feel more welcome than anyone else in this city, even his (now former) coworkers. Despite his general distaste for parties, he found that having these people in his flat didn’t feel like an invasion at all. In fact, they made it feel more like home than ever.

When the next song began, Garen and Luca let out simultaneous yelps.

“Uh-oh,” Oliver said. “Brace yourselves.” He came over to the couch as Garen leapt up to join his former flatmate in the center of the room.

“What are they…” Simon trailed off as Garen and Luca began to sing alone with Run-DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis,” each taking one rapper’s part.

“It’s a thing with them.” Oliver sat beside Simon. “Your ears have not lived until they’ve heard two Glaswegian white boys cover East Coast eighties rap. Also, they have a dance.”

Simon watched the painfully hilarious spectacle in disbelief. “Those two are a pair.”

“I used to be jealous of the bond between them,” Oliver said, trying to rub congratulatory lipstick off his cheek, with little success. “But now I’m just jealous I’ve never had a friendship like theirs. It’s their chemistry that makes them such a great curling team, after all.”

“Here, let me get that for you.” Simon pulled out a tissue, dipped a corner in what was left of his seltzer, and started working on the lipstick stain. “Garen worries he’s letting Team Riley down. He’s thinking of quitting in order to save you.”

“I know.” Oliver squinted at the pressure on his cheek. “Luca and I need to convince him that no matter what happens, we’ve got his back and we want him to stay on the team.”

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