Page 33 of Play Hard

Robert felt a pang in his heart at the word. Liam was normally so good at feigning okay-ness. For him to admit his fear meant it had grown to the point he could no longer hide it.

Or maybe it meant he was ready to face it, with a wee bit of help. “Scared of what?” Robert asked.

“Of ruining a good thing.”

“What good thing?”

“My life.” Liam kept his eyes on the TV. “I know it could be better. But it could also be a lot worse. Moneywise, I mean.”

Robert couldn’t promise him that everything would be okay, because there was a chance it wouldn’t be. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe he lived in a flat where all the appliances worked every time—not to mention in a lovely location like St. Andrew’s Square. Ben seemed to take the relative luxury of this place for granted, but Robert doubted he’d ever get used to this middle-class existence.

“You know I’ll be with you no matter what, right?”

“That’s the thing.” Liam’s lashes lowered, their tips glinting gold in the lamplight. “I don’t want to drag you down. I don’t want to depend on you—or anyone.”

Robert understood this instinct. No one in Liam’s life had been reliable. He’d been only four when his father had taken off, and in the years since, his mother had bounced from one dickhead boyfriend to another, rarely staying in a job for long, thanks to the demands of her ever-growing family.

“We can depend on each other.” Robert tugged the hem of Liam’s black trackpants. “You think I’m not scared?”

“No, I don’t think you are.” Liam finally met his eyes. “If you were, how did you have the guts to start your own business?”

“I had plenty of fear,” Robert said. “I just didn’t let it stop me.”

Liam scoffed. “Because you’re not a coward like me.”

“You’re not a coward, you’re just canny. If I were more careful like you, maybe I’d make better business decisions. Maybe I could do with some of your so-called cowardice.” He was ready to pose the question he’d been afraid to utter for months, even now bracing himself for the answer. “If my work goes pear-shaped and I end up with nothing, you’d be there for me, right? Like, if I couldn’t pay rent here?”

“Of course.” Liam stared at him. “Rab, did you think I’d say no?”

“I know you value your independence.”

“Not enough to watch you live in the street. But that’s all the more reason for me to stay in a secure job, so I can be your safety net.”

Robert stopped himself saying, Eight pounds an hour isn’t much of a safety net. The last thing Liam needed was him running down his job at the pub, the job that had granted him the dignity of providing for himself and helping his family.

“You should see about the physiotherapy thing,” Robert said. “Maybe ask one of the physios about it after our next match. That one who treated Katie today seemed cool.”

“Tamara, aye.” Liam chewed his bottom lip. “Maybe.”

A roar came from the crowd on the television as Celtic went up 3-1. Robert shared a high-five with Liam, then rewound the last few minutes so they could watch the buildup. Their conversation turned to analyzing the defensive mistakes leading to the goal, abandoning the heavy topic of Life and How to Live It.

But that night, Robert lay awake again, replaying their discussion. Liam’s declaration of fear had laid bare Robert’s own selfishness these last few months. It wasn’t merely time he was withholding from Liam, but also security. By devoting himself to such an uncertain venture, Robert was risking a lot more than his partner’s annoyance. He was jeopardizing their very survival.

Maybe it wasn’t too late to fix things.

In the meantime, though, he had a challenge to present, something that would take their minds off all these monumental choices, at least for one night.

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