Page 50 of Playing to Win

Andrew ushered him into a large, bright reception room, with the kitchen to the right and the living area to the left. Windows covered nearly all of one of the far walls and half of the other. The living-room ceiling slanted up high, but the kitchen ceiling was flat and unusually low. Colin quickly realized why—a spiral wooden staircase led up out of the kitchen to a second level.

A flat with an upstairs and a downstairs. Fancy.

“We’ll let this chill for dinner and just have cocktails with the first course.” Andrew set the wine on the gray kitchen worktop, then started filling an ice bucket from the refrigerator’s dispenser. “Mojitos all right?” he shouted over the din of the falling cubes.

Colin nodded, slipping his hands into his trouser pockets, hoping it looked a casual move.

While Andrew blethered about his meal-planning “decision tree,” Colin sipped his mojito and tried to examine his surroundings without appearing paranoid or impressed. The floors were gleaming hardwood and the appliances stainless steel, but the oval table was plain glass and the living room furniture a simple black wood and leather. Other than the enormous aquarium against the dining-area wall, the decor was minimalist—a single Italian-café art print over the television and a clear-crystal chime-looking thing dangling beside the column holding up the staircase.

Colin had expected nauseating opulence, but this place felt…real. He could breathe here.

As long as he didn’t look at Andrew, that is. The last he’d seen of him was in a video sent late last night through an application called Wickr, which Andrew claimed had military-level encryption and never stored users’ information, unlike Snapchat. The video had featured a caption sayingThis is what your voice made me do, along with the last thirty seconds of Andrew having a hearty wank. Colin had watched it lying in bed, his head on the luxurious hotel pillowcase that had once held Andrew’s warm, sharp scent.

At the moment of orgasm, Andrew’s face lost its self-conscious smugness. He’d looked vulnerable. Human.

And then his video had vanished, with Colin too transfixed to take a screen-grab.

“Pardon me.” With a hand on Colin’s lower back, Andrew gently guided him aside so he could place the first course on the table. “Please, sit. I’m terrified of serving cold food.”

“Okay, but first—” Unable to wait another moment, Colin stepped forward and kissed him. Their lips were chilled and minty from the mojitos, but turned warm as they lingered together.

Finally Andrew pulled away and let out a sigh of relief. “I needed that.” He tugged out Colin’s chair. “Now let me feed you.”

As he ate, Colin was vaguely aware the broiled scallops and mango puree were delicious, as was the salad with fresh berries and bleu cheese, but he was so preoccupied with holding his flatware properly, he barely noticed the flavors.

“I hope you don’t mind seafood as a main course as well,” Andrew said. “I’m a pescetarian.”

“A what?”

“Someone who eats seafood but no other meat.”

“Is that a health thing or because of the animals?”

“Both,” Andrew said, “and yes, I know, I’m probably a hypocrite, but the fact is, fish don’t feel fear the way cows and chickens and pigs do. Their nervous systems aren’t as developed.”

“You sure? A fish on a hook tries hard as fuck to get away.” Not that Colin would know, as he’d never fished.

“Their struggle is pure instinct.”

“It’s not pure instinct for a cow?”

“Have you ever looked a cow in the eye?”

Colin paused before shaking his head, though he didn’t need to think about it.

“Try it some time. Mammals and birds, their eyes have a…spark.” Andrew glanced away and rubbed his neck, looking embarrassed. “Ugh, you probably think I’m one of those mad toffs who loves animals more than people.”

“Not at all,” Colin lied. “My sister’s got asthma, so the only pet we’ve had was a fish, for about a week.” Colin glanced over his shoulder at the aquarium. “Will you show me yours?”

“Yes!” Andrew leaped up from his chair, making its feet squonk on the hardwood floor. “I’m ridiculously proud of them.”

The long, rectangular aquarium was illuminated from above by a bright fluorescent light, which showed crystal-clear water flowing over rocks and corals spanning every shade of blue, purple, brown, and green. “It’s so beautiful,” Colin said, “it almost hurts to look at.”

“That was my exact thought the first time I went snorkeling in the Caribbean. I wanted to recreate that feeling here. Also, I was feeling a bit of stress when I moved house, and they say watching fish lowers one’s blood pressure.”

“But what’s it do to the fish’s blood pressure to be watched?”

Andrew started to answer, then tilted his head. “Excellent question.”

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