Page 76 of Playing to Win

Then he pulled his own blanket up to his chin and stared out the window, waiting for Greenland.

= = =

“Wa-heyyy!” Dad exclaimed as Colin came through the door of their flat the next day. “It’s our own world traveler.”

“Thought you’d come back with a tan.” Emma strutted past him with what looked and smelled like a piece of cottage pie. “I bet you didn’t actually go.”

“I’ve got proof. Hah!” He whipped out his passport and opened it to the page with the US Department of Homeland Security stamp.

Emma examined it, gave him a once-over, then nodded. “Cool.” Coming from her, that was near-worship.

“I bet it was amazing!” Gran practically danced out of the kitchen to hug Colin. “You must tell us all about it.”

“No!” Emma and Dad said in unison, covering their ears.

She scowled at them. “I meant the bits suitable for a general audience.” She gave Colin a wary look. “If there are any.”

“A few, Gran. I’ve got pictures, too.” He bent over and kissed her cheek. “But I need to run and change for football practice.”

His father followed Colin into his room. “You’ll be home usual time?”

“Aye.” Colin tossed his bag onto the bed. “Andrew’s with his family until late Saturday. They’re on a ‘gulet holiday,’ which is apparently a fancy Turkish name for a yacht cruise. Besides, I’m fucking knackered.” He went to the chest of drawers and emptied his pockets of American money, smoothing the rumpled dollar and stacking the coins atop it in pretty wee piles.

“That’s good,” his dad said. “Not good that you’re knackered, but good that you’ll be home. Cos at five o’clock I’m away to Aberdeen for a day or two.”

Colin’s fingers froze around the pile of nickels. “To see Mum?”

“Aye.”

He turned to face his father. “Are you bringing her home?”

“I don’t know.” With a heavy sigh, Dad sat on the edge of Colin’s bunk. “I don’t even know whether it’s…you know.”

“Whether it’s what you want.” A chill seeped up Colin’s legs. This was it. The beginning of the end. Separation. Divorce. His mother gone for good.

Dad nodded slowly, as if his head weighed fifty pounds. “And whether it’s what’s best for all of us, especially you and Emma.”

“Me and Emma are fine either way.”Ornotfine either way.“You need to do what’s right for you.”

Hands in his lap, Dad pressed his fingertips together, then tapped them lightly, pad to pad, as he considered his next words. “I still love your mum. I always will.”

“Me too.” Colin rubbed the scars on his right arm, working up the courage to speak the ugly truth. “But love’s never enough, is it? Mum loves us in her way. That doesnae earn her a royal pardon for the things she’s done.”

His father let out a deep breath that sounded like relief. “No, it doesnae. You and Emma deserve a wee bit of stability. We all do.”

Colin had never felt less stable. It seemed like he was falling off a cliff with no limbs to help him scrabble for rescue. “So that’s what this trip to Aberdeen is about, then. To tell her not to come home.”And I’ve just given you my blessing to end it all.

“I think so. I’ve got the papers to make it official.”

Colin stopped breathing. It was the only way to hold in the sob wanting to burst from his lungs. He simply nodded, and nodded, and nodded, until his father looked away.

“All right, then.” Dad stood slowly. “I should be back Tuesday night. Thanks for keeping an eye on your sister and your gran.”

Colin heard the hallway floor creak. He raised his voice. “Be Emma’s boss all week, Dad? Happy to!”

“Get tae fuck!” she said, then kicked the wall before running back down the hallway to the living room.

“Your daughter’s mouth is a sewage farm,” Colin said.

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