Page 129 of Playing to Win

One by one, Andrew’s internal organs crumpled like tissue paper. The tears that had perched on the edges of his eyes since he’d received his father’s message now tumbled down his cheeks.

“Why…after all this time…” he choked out, “do you choosenow, aboutthis, to lie to me?”

“I’m not lying.” Colin shook his head back and forth, back and forth, still facing away. “I don’t love you. We’ve had our laughs, but I was only with you for sex and—and—and your money. Free food and fucking, that’s all it—”

“You are the most crap liar I’ve ever heard!”

“I’m not! I’m a brilliant liar, that’s why you never knew. I’m just now telling the truth.”

“Prove it.” Andrew got to his feet. “Walk out that door in front of you. And this time, never come back.”

Colin didn’t hesitate. He shoved open the door and went through it. Turning to the right on the pavement, he vanished from sight.

For a moment, Andrew stood rooted to the spot.Oh God, what have I done?

Dropping his father’s message, he dashed out the door, nearly smashing his nose against the glass. When he pivoted to chase after Colin, he collided with a solid object, which tumbled beneath him onto the pavement.

“Fuck!” Colin rolled over, wiping the dust off his palms. “That’d get you a red card on the pitch, mate.”

“Sorry. I thought you’d be halfway down the street by now, the way you were moving.”

“I couldnae.” Colin put his face in his hands. “I’m too weak to leave, even for your own good.Youhave to be the strong one.”

“Aye, right,” Andrew said in his best Colin MacDuff impersonation. He untangled their legs and sat beside him.

Colin fingered a brand-new hole in the knee of his jeans. “So…why’d you vote Yes?”

Andrew took a deep breath, knowing this would be the first of many times he’d need to explain. “I’m not a starry-eyed dreamer. I don’t think independence will solve all of Scotland’s problems.”

“Neither do I.”

“Let me finish.” Andrew pulled his knees to his chest. “In fact, I think independence will create many problems we can’t yet imagine. But at least we’ll have the power to solve them. Right now we’ve loads of troubles we can’t solve because Westminster controls the purse strings. It’s time for this country to grow up and forge its own path, however rocky it may be.”

“Hm. That’s a belter of a speech.” Colin nudged his shoulder against Andrew’s. “But are we still talking about Scotland?” When Andrew glared at him, Colin said, “Sorry. Not trying to psychoanalyze. It’s just odd, someone like you voting against your own interests.”

Andrew gave the most imperious snort he could manage. “Please. Voting in one’s interest is so vulgar. What do I care if I’ll be five hundred quid richer or poorer every year? As you once said, that’s pocket change to me.”

Colin stared at him. “So basically, you voted Yes for the same reason you do everything—because you’re better than the rest of us.”

Andrew fought to keep a straight face as he tilted his chin and shrugged. “Mm.”

“You are so…wonderfully horrible.”

Andrew smiled, his cheeks stiff with the salt of dried tears. “And you’re horribly wonderful.”

Colin kissed him softly, then pressed his forehead to Andrew’s and sighed. “Why do we keep making a state of things?”

“Probably because we’re trying to impress each other.” He looked up and down his empty lane, which seemed even quieter than usual. It felt like a shroud had been dropped over the city. “Shall we get breakfast somewhere? I can’t bear the thought of sitting home waiting for my father’s lawyer to pop in.”

“Naw, I need to head back to the Drum and see my family.”

“Oh.” Andrew glanced up at his flat, dreading the hours alone.

Colin stood slowly, then reached down a hand. “Want to come with me?”

= = =

Colin watched from his kitchen as Andrew held court on the sofa, regaling Emma and Gran with tales and pictures of celebrity antics.

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